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Updated: Jun 11, 2021


"As a child I used to get so annoyed by all of the freedom my guy friends and my brother were granted, , while myself and my sister felt like we were held in captivity. We weren’t allowed to walk alone at night or go out with certain groups of friends until a certain time. Our parents would always say, “it’s because you’re a woman.” We would claim their being sexist and didn’t believe in our strong will power and independence. Little did we know that we truly weren’t invincible to danger."

A guy thinking

"There is a list as long as my arm of things that women must do to ensure their safety that men will never have to do simply because they are in a safer situation. Here are a few of those things:

1. Hold your keys like a weapon. [Carry a knife. Know how to use it]

2. Check the backseat of your car

3. Call someone just for the sake of having someone just in case

4 Never go outside alone at night

5 Lock the windows and doors in your home at all times

6 Don’t drink too much

7 Never put your drink down

8 Watch your drink when it’s being poured

9 Own a big dog for protection

10 Carry pepper spray and know how to use it.

11 Park your car in well lit areas

12 Avoid parking garages if possible

13 Don’t get in an elevator alone or with a large group of men. [Read "30,000 Secrets" where Elisabeth is attacked in an elevator. Staff find the assailant unconscious].

14 Change your route on your way home

15 Don’t use highway rest stations

16 Watch what you wear [This is a contentious issue for many women and teens who object to this control.]

17 Don’t wear headphones when out in public

A women getting ready for jogging

18 Avoid wooded areas in general

19 Always go out in groups

20 Never get an apartment or hotel room on the main floor

21 Always meet in a public place when on a first date

22 Always have cash in case you need it for an emergency ride home

23 Update your friends and family on your whereabouts/plans to be safe

24 Leave outside lights on every night

25 Keep your blinds closed at night

26 Lock the car door the second you get inside and as soon as you exit

27 Send license plate information if you are getting in a car with a stranger to your friends in case.


These and many more are discussed in sexual assault survival classes with some women, even Canadian females, choosing to carry a handgun.

Women training with a men in martial arts

Someone invariably asks if women will ever feel safe and the answer is NO. Not in their lifetime and not in their daughters' because violent men will not change.

Here is a better alternative:


Rebecca Simpson A retired Secret Service Agent, currently a principal with “J” Team Investigations in Santa Barbara, California and Dr. Penelope Barker’s life partner.

Rebecca Simpson A retired Secret Service Agent, currently a principal with “J” Team Investigations in Santa Barbara, California and Dr. Penelope Barker’s life partner.

Follow the link to the other women and learn how they deal with misogynists, sexism, homophobia and male domination.

Don’t live a life of fear. Regain control as so many other women have. The "J" Team Series: Wyoming Secrets, 30,000 Secrets, Santa Barbara Secrets, Barkley Sound Secrets, Vancouver Secrets & Social Secrets are inspirational novels which embolden and motivate women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives.

Enjoy the characters’ journey and consider applying their advice and tactics to your own life. There is never a reason for any woman to be controlled by anybody. Read what other women have to say about living life to the fullest on their terms in the Blog.

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