“Stop believing the lies who you are. So you can become who you were meant to be.”

You turfed your abuser. Now what?

Healing will take time and patience. Assessing what went wrong in your abusive relationship can consume you. Don’t do it. Shit happens. We make mistakes and end up with the wrong person.

Changing locations, getting a new job and moving on works. Not immediately, but it does according to many women who have, unfortunately, been in your shoes.

Read the entire blog and find useful suggestions on how to move on with your life, then combine those idea with what Rachel is offering.

Here are two videos by Rachel Hollis encouraging women to, “Stop believing the lies who you are. So you can become who you were meant to be.”

Five Ways to Stay Motivated by Rachel Hollis

Read this blog and the advice women 40+ are sharing with their younger selves. https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/its-worth-the-read-women-in-their-40s-give-advice-to-their-20-something-selves/

About lazeejjs

Jonathan McCormick holds a Black Belt in Combat Martial Arts. He is a U.S Marine (Inactive), trained with famed CIA operative Rex Applegate and Ultimate Fighter Champion Royce Gracie and was the director of the Institute of Defense Tactics. He is a former member of the American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers and worked with members of various law enforcement agencies in the areas of suspect control and officer safety. He has written for law enforcement magazines BlueLine (www.blueline.ca) and Twenty-Four-Seven and has been a guest writer for the Vancouver Province. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets”, “Santa Barbara Secrets” and The “J” Team Series are inspirational novels which focus on women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives. View the Series
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8 Responses to “Stop believing the lies who you are. So you can become who you were meant to be.”

  1. Kasteen Beltowski says:

    Rachel is amazing !!!! Ladies, find your tribe !

  2. Both the blog post and Rachel Hollis are excellent motivators for anyone but knowing the problems women experience as told to me by my mother and female colleagues, this information could change a woman’s life.

    I think the information that 40+ women share to their younger selves is superb and I encourage all women to share with their friends, male and female.

  3. “The ones who say you can’t are the ones who are afraid you will.”

    That is perfect for my life. When I was rodeoing in junior high I competed against the boys while the other girls had their own events. I did all the boy events and often beat their times. Remember the adage about men and “Eight Seconds”!

    The other thing about this post is Rachel’s comments in the first video where she says, “I call bullcrap.” I love her directness. Her advice is right on and something Pen and I will incorporate into our presentation to homeless teenager girls.

    Thanks Rachel!!!

  4. Pam Dafoe says:

    As a battered wife I will tell you, with the years of abuse, which probably didn’t start off being physical but emotional, you have become conditioned to believe you are not enough, no one else will want you, you are unlovable, who will want a woman with children, your fat, your ugly, it’s all your fault…

    You may think no one cares, because abusers isolate you from friends and family.

    You may think I can’t afford it financially, how can I look after myself and my kids.

    You can. Your strong, living and surviving in a relationship like that proves it.

    I saw leaving as a monumental impossibility, until I did. Then the question I had to ask myself was why?

    Why did it take so long? Why did I put up with the abuse? Why did I subject my children to it?

    The day I left, not the first time, maybe not the second, but when I knew I had left for good, was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

    I wasn’t alone….my family supported me, their was financial help to get back on my feet. I later met and married a good man and our family of four became a family of 8.

    Believe in yourself, you are NOT the person he tried to extinguish.

    • Pam… you are an inspiration to anyone thinking that they can’t leave! May you live the life you are destined for… the life for you.. not him, not the past!!!


    • Thank you very much Pam for sharing your insights. Your experience is identical to many of my students who share their predicament. They too found support, some with family and friends and many with women’s centre counselors and other women. Your last line needs to be shouted loudly and shared with everyone regardless if they know someone with this experience. The recipient may be involved or know someone who is and could use the support.

  5. This message needs to be shouted loud and clear to teens and women. So many of the young women with whom I attended university…I was in my 30s…stayed with violent men believing the lies these men told about how the violent relationship was all their fault.

    “Stop believing the lies (of) who you are. So you can become who you were meant to be.”

    This is a must read for all women and teens. Please share. Rachel has some very valid points to share.

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