Tag Archives: Sexual Assault

Cheaters and how they become violent.

When their cheating is discovered, some partners forgive and hope for the best. Some get angry and want revenge…they cheat too. And some file for divorce. All three responses often ignite dormant violent tendencies in men resulting in domestic violence. Some men apologize and swear they will never cheat again. Profess their undying love for their partner, while subconsciously admitting to themselves they have no intention of being faithful. Lies, lies and more lies. Read how to break the cycle. Here are Kirk* and Frank*, two men who continually are … Continue reading

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Male aggression. Controlling it…female style with defensive skills.

Excerpt from “Wyoming Secrets.” Female defensive skills. Penelope and Rebecca are at a dance club with their girlfriends, enjoying a girls’ night out. “While eating, two guys came over and asked them to dance. Between mouthfuls, Rebecca said, “Thanks fellas, but no, this is a girl’s night out, maybe some other time.” The men persisted, trying to coax at least one of the women to join them on the dance floor. The foursome’s refusal seemed to fuel the-would-be suitors and they kept on and on until finally Rebecca stood up. … Continue reading

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“Sorry!” “Sorry!” “Sorry!” Women, enough. Stop saying, “Sorry!”

We are not referring to basic human politeness such as, “I’m sorry I’m late for our luncheon.” “It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now.” STOP IT! You are not responsible for any one’s behavior but your own. “But repetitive, nearly constant apologies for every little thing—or, what Psychologist Paige Carambio, PsyD calls, “apologizing for existing”—can actually be an after-effect of trauma, a self-preservation technique survivors may think they still need to utilize in order to protect themselves.” “She says … Continue reading

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Women, can you defend yourself?

Women. Can you defend yourself against an attack? Would you? The “J” Team series portrays women struggling with violence. The characters share their successes, failures and overcoming fears and apprehensions through emotionally griping dialog and physical skills. The agents’ physical and emotional responses to antagonists draw the reader to the protagonists’ techniques and style used to overcome adversity. Jessica, Rebecca and Elisabeth encourage readers; to leave abusive situations, to change their environment and to accomplish their goals and dreams. Jackson and Jason exemplify supportive colleagues, comfortable with their sexuality/masculinity, exemplifying … Continue reading

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Don’t be THAT GUY. Consent isn’t difficult to understand.

“Canadian law has a broad definition of sexual assault. It doesn’t only include sexual intercourse but also unwanted sexual grabbing, kissing, fondling, and other sexualized activities. And the responsibility for getting consent is, by law, on the person initiating the activity.” Read Hoffington Post on what consent looks like “Ultimately, consent is about communication, verbal and physical. Just taking the time to read someone’s signals, or even to check in verbally and ask if everything is good, is helpful. The burden shouldn’t be placed on the partner to say “No,” … Continue reading

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“Times Up” & “MeToo” movements. Are they sustainable? Viola Davis explains, they must be.

“One of the most powerful speeches of the day came from Viola Davis. Davis took to the stage to deliver an empowering message that spoke to the higher rate of sexual assault that women of color face.” Viola Davis’ speech at the Los Angeles Women’s March “I am always introduced as an award-winning actor. But my testimony is one of poverty. My testimony is one of being sexually assaulted and very much seeing a childhood that was robbed from me. And I know that every single day, when I think … Continue reading

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Lies! Lies and more Lies. How to break the Cycle of Abuse.

It’ll never happen again. He says he’s really sorry. It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now. He’s only controlling because he loves me. Read Domestic Abuse’s take on the Deadly Cycle “The Cycle proposes that domestic violence starts with tension building in a relationship before an “explosion” occurs—the actual incident of abuse—followed by a “honeymoon phase” where the abuser is apologetic, even romantic, promising the abuse won’t happen again. Soon after, the tension starts building again and the cycle … Continue reading

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Dating violence. What parents think they know and what is really happening.

Parents, learn the language and communication devices/methods then start a dialog where you ask, listen and do not judge. Don’t be like this mother shown below, lecturing. You will be shut out. Among their findings: Teens and young adults think adults generally disrespect or distrust their dating relationships Youth said adults were “likely unaware or uninformed” about topics like technology and social media as they play a role in relationships, as well as the frequency and triviality of sex among teens. Teens said sex was “far less tied to emotions, … Continue reading

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Assault Survivors. How can you help when they aren’t ready?

“Your sister/best friend/coworker/neighbor discloses to you that he or she is having “relationship difficulties.” With a bit more digging, you come to learn these difficulties are actually domestic abuse—psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual — there may even be physical violence occurring. Your heart drops and your anger level rises. You jump into advice-giving mode: This is what you’re going to do now, you say, and you begin counseling your friend on how to leave their partner.” Domestic Shelters. Educate, Listen & Support, Reassure & Remind Read Sue Villilo, CHOICES for Victims … Continue reading

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Sexual assaults on university campuses.

University of British Columbia Sexual Assault Need to talk? Support is available. You can drop by during centre hours or schedule an appointment with us via phone (604-827-5180) and email (http://amssasc.ca/contact-us/)UBC Sexual Assault Support contacts. We can help with the following: Sexual assault Sexual abuse in childhood Intimate partner violence or relationship violence Stalking Harassment Isolation and hazing Self care and coping strategies Boundaries and assertiveness Safety planning University of British Columbia Sexual Assault Support Centre We shouldn’t need a definition of sexual assault but a quick perusal of social … Continue reading

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