Tag Archives: domestic violence
Domestic Violence Assessment Tools
The Danger Assessment
The free Danger Assessment helps determine the level of danger an abused person has of being killed by an intimate partner. There are two parts to the tool: 1) a calendar and 2) a 20-item scoring instrument. The calendar helps to assess severity and frequency of abuse, and is helps raise the consciousness of the victim and reduce the denial and minimization of the abuse. The 20-item scoring instrument uses a weighted system to score yes/no responses to risk factors associated with intimate partner homicide. It is available in multiple languages and offers a separate assessment tool (the “DA-1) for immigrant women.
Are you in danger?
“She says he was nice, at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. She had left him with their two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.”
Below, 10 podcasts that survivors may find helpful, intriguing or empowering. Of course, with all survivor-related narratives, make sure to practice self-care before and during listening, and prepare for possible triggers that may be emotionally challenging. It may help to speak with someone at a domestic violence hotline about how you’re feeling after you listen.
“Years worth of evidence suggests perpetrators of domestic violence exhibit patterns that make it possible to predict when someone is in harm’s way. Being aware of warning signs, experts said, could help prevent tragedies such as the one that unfolded in Ajax, Ont., earlier this week.”
“… community members rather than justice or violence-prevention workers are often best positioned to take meaningful, potentially life-saving action.”
Do not be apprehensive to speak with police, thinking they will consider you an interloper. They will not. They would rather be proactive, investigate and find everyone safe than be reactive and find injuries or death.
“The first time Carie Charlesworth’s husband abused her was six years and four children into their marriage. It was 2006, Carie’s birthday. The California mom had gone to a concert with her sister to celebrate and, on her way home, texted her husband Martin to let him know she was stuck in traffic. By the time she stopped by her parents’ house to pick up the couple’s 1-year-old daughters, it was almost 1 a.m.
“When I got home, all my clothes were on the front lawn,” says Carie. Her husband would tell her later that he knew she was lying. She hadn’t been at the concert or stuck in traffic. She had been talking to other men, probably with the intent of cheating on him. It’s something he had accused her of many times before, even though she says she never gave him any reason to think she was unfaithful.
That night, his anger boiled over. Before she could even get out of the car, Martin was by her window. He grabbed her keys so she couldn’t drive away before he started striking her repeatedly in the face while she sat in the car. Their daughters were sleeping in the backseat. One of his blows left a deep gash near Carie’s eye and it was only when Martin saw blood pouring down his wife’s face did he finally snap out of his rage.”
‘It Felt Like It Went Bad Fast’
Kate met him five years ago when she was 34. It had been six months since her divorce was finalized, ending a 15-year marriage. Kate was ready to meet someone new.
“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.
She says he was nice at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. The woman had left him with the couple’s two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.
He was angry—understandably so, she says, after what his ex did to him. But there was more than that—he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.
“LGBTQ and Domestic Violence Leading facts and statistics on the LBGTQ population and domestic violence.”
The facts about LGBTQ partner abuse/domestic violence are often hidden by numerous myths and misconceptions. Common myths and misconceptions include the belief that women are not violent, that men are not commonly victims, that LGBTQ domestic violence is mutual, and that there are no significant differences between heterosexual domestic violence and same-gender domestic violence. However, people who are lesbian, gay and bisexual have an equal or higher prevalence of experiencing intimate partner violence, sexual violence and stalking as compared to heterosexuals.
In 2011, 19-year-old Maple Batalia was brutally murdered in public by a jealous ex-boyfriend. Her friend Benisha Aujla says it was only in hindsight that she saw the typical warning signs of a violent relationship.
Aujla decided to share those signs with RCMP Cpl. Samara Bilmer so they could help others see them before it’s too late.
“Abuse can be more subtle than just a punch in the face,” says Bilmer, who works in the Serious Crimes Unit in Chilliwack, B.C.
Read about what Bilmer says are the most common red flags of a violent relationship.
#WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft, in which survivors shared their stories of why they remained in abusive relationships and why they eventually got out. Yet misconceptions persist — that abuse is a private matter, that women who stay with abusive partners are simply weak-willed, that women are just as abusive as men. Cosmopolitan.com talked to the experts to clear up some of the most stubborn, and most dangerous, myths about intimate partner violence.
“What could I do? There wasn’t anything I could do? I couldn’t stand up against him!” Actually, you could, can and should have. I have had several battered women seek shelter in our home and to a man, their abuser backs off when they are confronted. I have been told it is because I am male. That might be true in some, but not all cases. It is the thought that their despicable behavior is now known to another and s/he will call the police. Here is an incident shared … Continue reading