Tag Archives: domestic violence

Cheaters and how they become violent.

When their cheating is discovered, some partners forgive and hope for the best. Some get angry and want revenge…they cheat too. And some file for divorce. All three responses often ignite dormant violent tendencies in men resulting in domestic violence. Some men apologize and swear they will never cheat again. Profess their undying love for their partner, while subconsciously admitting to themselves they have no intention of being faithful. Lies, lies and more lies. Read how to break the cycle. Here are Kirk* and Frank*, two men who continually are … Continue reading

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Online dating and ignoring RED flags.

“Kate” was six months out of a 15 year marriage. Kate was 34. She thought it was time to meet someone new. She was right…and wrong. “I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers. “She says he was nice, at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. She had left him with their two young children, a 2-year-old … Continue reading

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Domestic violence and substance abuse are linked. Learn how.

How Domestic Violence and Substance Abuse Are Connected “Domestic violence and substance abuse are intimately linked and often occur simultaneously. They are related much in the same way that co-occurring mental disorders like depression and anxiety are linked to increased drug use and vice versa. Often one is a symptom of the other, and in many cases, they go hand in hand. Yet while they’re intertwined, one doesn’t always precede the other. Abusing drugs doesn’t always spur aggressors to physical or emotional violence, and being a victim of abuse doesn’t … Continue reading

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Posted in Domestic Abuse, Sexual assault survivors, Substance Abuse, Toxic Relationships | Tagged , , , , , |

Canada’s Supreme Court recognizes, “Battered Woman Syndrome.”

Battered Woman Syndrome “Why doesn’t she just leave?” is often spoken about women who stay in an abusive relationship. Easier said than done. I have helped women exit such conditions and in every case the men were vicious and evil human beings. They knew only one thing and it wasn’t court orders or police presence. Women tried to flee only to be tracked down and assaulted again. Here is the sad solution to which some survivors use and it is a legitimate defense in Canada. Read of these landmark cases. … Continue reading

Posted in Bullying, Domestic Abuse, Fear | Tagged , , , |

Female abusers. Read who they are and what motivates them.

“She was petite and very quiet. She had taken her partner’s head and slammed it through a plate-glass window.” “Women who grew up in a family where they were exposed to domestic violence, or who have been with an abusive partner in the past, are more likely to fall victim to an abusive partner again or become abusive themselves.” I interviewed a man in a Portland, Oregon jail who had been abused for years and didn’t fight back because he was taught never to hit a woman. One day he … Continue reading

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“Sorry!” “Sorry!” “Sorry!” Women, enough. Stop saying, “Sorry!”

We are not referring to basic human politeness such as, “I’m sorry I’m late for our luncheon.” “It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now.” STOP IT! You are not responsible for any one’s behavior but your own. “But repetitive, nearly constant apologies for every little thing—or, what Psychologist Paige Carambio, PsyD calls, “apologizing for existing”—can actually be an after-effect of trauma, a self-preservation technique survivors may think they still need to utilize in order to protect themselves.” “She says … Continue reading

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Social Responsibility. We all need to prevent domestic violence.

“Society has role to play in trying to prevent domestic violence. We do not have to allow this to happen. “Years worth of evidence suggests perpetrators of domestic violence exhibit patterns that make it possible to predict when someone is in harm’s way. Being aware of warning signs, experts said, could help prevent tragedies such as the one that unfolded in Ajax, Ont., earlier this week.” “… community members rather than justice or violence-prevention workers are often best positioned to take meaningful, potentially life-saving action.” Do not be apprehensive to … Continue reading

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Parents, you can be the instrument of change.

Teaching our children by example and providing role models sets the tone for the rest of their lives. Allowing your children to question, respectfully, and challenge everything, even what you teach and say, will develop their interpersonal skills so they won’t be taken advantage of. You don’t want to hear that your son was harassed on the job (think RCMP) or your daughter was groped by a family member or in the work place and you knew you had failed to teach them how to combat such behavior. I encouraged … Continue reading

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Posted in Bullying, Courage, Women's Rights | Tagged , , , , , , , |

Money! Don’t stay because of it. Leave & be free with it.

“…start by accepting responsibility for where you are and then make some changes. These changes to your life are not the end of your life. They are alterations that in the long run, will give you a better relationship to money and more financial freedom.” “We attach our entire life, our ego, our social status and our existence to money. If we have money we are successful, we lead a fun and desirable life and have material things that make us worthy. We fear losing money over everything else; we … Continue reading

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Lies! Lies and more Lies. How to break the Cycle of Abuse.

It’ll never happen again. He says he’s really sorry. It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now. He’s only controlling because he loves me. Read Domestic Abuse’s take on the Deadly Cycle “The Cycle proposes that domestic violence starts with tension building in a relationship before an “explosion” occurs—the actual incident of abuse—followed by a “honeymoon phase” where the abuser is apologetic, even romantic, promising the abuse won’t happen again. Soon after, the tension starts building again and the cycle … Continue reading

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