Tag Archives: domestic violence

Survivor’s story.

‘It Felt Like It Went Bad Fast’

Kate met him five years ago when she was 34. It had been six months since her divorce was finalized, ending a 15-year marriage. Kate was ready to meet someone new.

“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.

She says he was nice at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. The woman had left him with the couple’s two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.

He was angry—understandably so, she says, after what his ex did to him. But there was more than that—he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.

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“LGBTQ and Domestic Violence Leading facts and statistics on the LBGTQ population and domestic violence.”

The facts about LGBTQ partner abuse/domestic violence are often hidden by numerous myths and misconceptions. Common myths and misconceptions include the belief that women are not violent, that men are not commonly victims, that LGBTQ domestic violence is mutual, and that there are no significant differences between heterosexual domestic violence and same-gender domestic violence. However, people who are lesbian, gay and bisexual have an equal or higher prevalence of experiencing intimate partner violence, sexual violence and stalking as compared to heterosexuals.

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Violent Relationships-The Red Flags. Advice from the RCMP

In 2011, 19-year-old Maple Batalia was brutally murdered in public by a jealous ex-boyfriend. Her friend Benisha Aujla says it was only in hindsight that she saw the typical warning signs of a violent relationship.

Aujla decided to share those signs with RCMP Cpl. Samara Bilmer so they could help others see them before it’s too late.

“Abuse can be more subtle than just a punch in the face,” says Bilmer, who works in the Serious Crimes Unit in Chilliwack, B.C.

Read about what Bilmer says are the most common red flags of a violent relationship.

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“14 Misconceptions About Domestic Violence”

#WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft, in which survivors shared their stories of why they remained in abusive relationships and why they eventually got out. Yet misconceptions persist — that abuse is a private matter, that women who stay with abusive partners are simply weak-willed, that women are just as abusive as men. Cosmopolitan.com talked to the experts to clear up some of the most stubborn, and most dangerous, myths about intimate partner violence.

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RCMP and Vancouver PD. One reactive. One proactive approach to sexual assault.

Law Enforcement is reactive. That is a fact of life. Women, DO NOT allow yourself to be part of this reaction to a sexual or domestic assault. Learn what you need to know to prevent it from happening. Survivors have historically been seen by law enforcement as being part of their own assault. Below, the RCMP is assuring survivors, that is no longer the case with the Force. There have been remarkable changes since Commissioner Brenda Lecki took office. This is but one. “Sexual assault is a devastating crime that … Continue reading

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Take a stand against violence.

“What could I do? There wasn’t anything I could do? I couldn’t stand up against him!” Actually, you could, can and should have. I have had several battered women seek shelter in our home and to a man, their abuser backs off when they are confronted. I have been told it is because I am male. That might be true in some, but not all cases. It is the thought that their despicable behavior is now known to another and s/he will call the police. Here is an incident shared … Continue reading

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Canada’s RCMP offer advice and video support for survivors.

From the Yukon, Brenda Butterworth-Carr is the Commander of British Columbia’s “E” Division, the largest in Canada. “In a crisis situation, victims of sexualized assault need to know what their options are, whether they want to report it or not,” says Collyn Lovelace, co-ordinator of the Yukon Women’s Coalition. “Knowing what to expect is a huge part of making an informed choice.” “The videos walk victims through the step-by-step process of reporting domestic violence and sexual assault to police. They also explain what the court process is, including what the … Continue reading

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Relationships. Don’t allow yours to degenerate to this.

“Two North Carolina children got ahold of a gun and fatally shot a man police said was assaulting and strangling their mother. During the attack, Steven Kelley, 46, said he was going to cut the throat of Chandra Nierman, his girlfriend, and kill everyone in the home, the Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office said. Police said Nierman’s 12-year-old son obtained a gun, and her 15-year-old daughter used it to shoot Kelley in the chest twice. Police were called to the home just after midnight on August 8 and found Kelley already … Continue reading

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Controlling men and how to regain your life.

Contolling men😬 Far too many women live with this terror daily n fail to acquire the means to leave. “Bad Moms” portrays women who shed that baggage. Please share with every woman you know. If she is not affected, she may know a woman who is. Video. Three women regain control of their lives. “Fed up, she joins forces with two other over-stressed moms on a quest to liberate themselves from conventional responsibilities – going on a wild, un-mom-like binge of long overdue freedom, fun and self-indulgence – putting them … Continue reading

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Crappy childhood? Didn’t we all?

There are crappy childhoods, then there are traumatic ones. We need to move on. You were raised by bigots, but you got over it. Your parents were/are racists. You are not. Write them out of your life and move on. You were physically abused as a child. Now you are an adult. Don’t perpetuate the behavior with your own children or those of others and move on. “A lot of people do have tragic childhoods. But you know what? Get over it.” Phil McGraw But what if you can’t? What … Continue reading

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