Tag Archives: domestic violence
“The first time Carie Charlesworth’s husband abused her was six years and four children into their marriage. It was 2006, Carie’s birthday. The California mom had gone to a concert with her sister to celebrate and, on her way home, texted her husband Martin to let him know she was stuck in traffic. By the time she stopped by her parents’ house to pick up the couple’s 1-year-old daughters, it was almost 1 a.m.
“When I got home, all my clothes were on the front lawn,” says Carie. Her husband would tell her later that he knew she was lying. She hadn’t been at the concert or stuck in traffic. She had been talking to other men, probably with the intent of cheating on him. It’s something he had accused her of many times before, even though she says she never gave him any reason to think she was unfaithful.
That night, his anger boiled over. Before she could even get out of the car, Martin was by her window. He grabbed her keys so she couldn’t drive away before he started striking her repeatedly in the face while she sat in the car. Their daughters were sleeping in the backseat. One of his blows left a deep gash near Carie’s eye and it was only when Martin saw blood pouring down his wife’s face did he finally snap out of his rage.”
‘It Felt Like It Went Bad Fast’
Kate met him five years ago when she was 34. It had been six months since her divorce was finalized, ending a 15-year marriage. Kate was ready to meet someone new.
“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.
She says he was nice at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. The woman had left him with the couple’s two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.
He was angry—understandably so, she says, after what his ex did to him. But there was more than that—he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.
“LGBTQ and Domestic Violence Leading facts and statistics on the LBGTQ population and domestic violence.”
The facts about LGBTQ partner abuse/domestic violence are often hidden by numerous myths and misconceptions. Common myths and misconceptions include the belief that women are not violent, that men are not commonly victims, that LGBTQ domestic violence is mutual, and that there are no significant differences between heterosexual domestic violence and same-gender domestic violence. However, people who are lesbian, gay and bisexual have an equal or higher prevalence of experiencing intimate partner violence, sexual violence and stalking as compared to heterosexuals.
In 2011, 19-year-old Maple Batalia was brutally murdered in public by a jealous ex-boyfriend. Her friend Benisha Aujla says it was only in hindsight that she saw the typical warning signs of a violent relationship.
Aujla decided to share those signs with RCMP Cpl. Samara Bilmer so they could help others see them before it’s too late.
“Abuse can be more subtle than just a punch in the face,” says Bilmer, who works in the Serious Crimes Unit in Chilliwack, B.C.
Read about what Bilmer says are the most common red flags of a violent relationship.
#WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft, in which survivors shared their stories of why they remained in abusive relationships and why they eventually got out. Yet misconceptions persist — that abuse is a private matter, that women who stay with abusive partners are simply weak-willed, that women are just as abusive as men. Cosmopolitan.com talked to the experts to clear up some of the most stubborn, and most dangerous, myths about intimate partner violence.
“What could I do? There wasn’t anything I could do? I couldn’t stand up against him!” Actually, you could, can and should have. I have had several battered women seek shelter in our home and to a man, their abuser backs off when they are confronted. I have been told it is because I am male. That might be true in some, but not all cases. It is the thought that their despicable behavior is now known to another and s/he will call the police. Here is an incident shared … Continue reading
From the Yukon, Brenda Butterworth-Carr is the Commander of British Columbia’s “E” Division, the largest in Canada. “In a crisis situation, victims of sexualized assault need to know what their options are, whether they want to report it or not,” says Collyn Lovelace, co-ordinator of the Yukon Women’s Coalition. “Knowing what to expect is a huge part of making an informed choice.” “The videos walk victims through the step-by-step process of reporting domestic violence and sexual assault to police. They also explain what the court process is, including what the … Continue reading
“Two North Carolina children got ahold of a gun and fatally shot a man police said was assaulting and strangling their mother. During the attack, Steven Kelley, 46, said he was going to cut the throat of Chandra Nierman, his girlfriend, and kill everyone in the home, the Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office said. Police said Nierman’s 12-year-old son obtained a gun, and her 15-year-old daughter used it to shoot Kelley in the chest twice. Police were called to the home just after midnight on August 8 and found Kelley already … Continue reading
Contolling men😬 Far too many women live with this terror daily n fail to acquire the means to leave. “Bad Moms” portrays women who shed that baggage. Please share with every woman you know. If she is not affected, she may know a woman who is. Video. Three women regain control of their lives. “Fed up, she joins forces with two other over-stressed moms on a quest to liberate themselves from conventional responsibilities – going on a wild, un-mom-like binge of long overdue freedom, fun and self-indulgence – putting them … Continue reading