Tag Archives: domestic assault survivors
Might a friend or relative be in danger living with an abuser during these stressful times coping with the coronavirus?
This might be the time to rally her friends to come to her aid, provide her shelter and safety when government help is unavailable.
Domestic Shelters is available 24/7 to offer assistance in Canada and the United States.
The Danger of Being Quarantined with an Abuser
“It seems most everything is closing down because of the Coronavirus, aka COVID-19, now considered a global pandemic. Schools, restaurants and other retail and service industries are temporarily suspending business to help curb the spread following the CDC’s recommendation of social distancing, advising any events with over 50 people be cancelled for the next eight weeks. Individuals are urged to stay at home as much as possible—work from home, order-in groceries, cancel nonessential doctor’s appointments and elective surgeries—basically, self-quarantine.
Below, 10 podcasts that survivors may find helpful, intriguing or empowering. Of course, with all survivor-related narratives, make sure to practice self-care before and during listening, and prepare for possible triggers that may be emotionally challenging. It may help to speak with someone at a domestic violence hotline about how you’re feeling after you listen.
“Years worth of evidence suggests perpetrators of domestic violence exhibit patterns that make it possible to predict when someone is in harm’s way. Being aware of warning signs, experts said, could help prevent tragedies such as the one that unfolded in Ajax, Ont., earlier this week.”
“… community members rather than justice or violence-prevention workers are often best positioned to take meaningful, potentially life-saving action.”
Do not be apprehensive to speak with police, thinking they will consider you an interloper. They will not. They would rather be proactive, investigate and find everyone safe than be reactive and find injuries or death.
“The first time Carie Charlesworth’s husband abused her was six years and four children into their marriage. It was 2006, Carie’s birthday. The California mom had gone to a concert with her sister to celebrate and, on her way home, texted her husband Martin to let him know she was stuck in traffic. By the time she stopped by her parents’ house to pick up the couple’s 1-year-old daughters, it was almost 1 a.m.
“When I got home, all my clothes were on the front lawn,” says Carie. Her husband would tell her later that he knew she was lying. She hadn’t been at the concert or stuck in traffic. She had been talking to other men, probably with the intent of cheating on him. It’s something he had accused her of many times before, even though she says she never gave him any reason to think she was unfaithful.
That night, his anger boiled over. Before she could even get out of the car, Martin was by her window. He grabbed her keys so she couldn’t drive away before he started striking her repeatedly in the face while she sat in the car. Their daughters were sleeping in the backseat. One of his blows left a deep gash near Carie’s eye and it was only when Martin saw blood pouring down his wife’s face did he finally snap out of his rage.”
The provincial government is considering paid work leaves for victims of sexual and domestic violence.
Parliamentary Secretary for Gender Equity Mitzi Dean says the province is considering changes to the Employment Standards Act to do so, and says public feedback is now being taken online.
She says victims of domestic and sexual assault need to rebuild their lives.
“I remember when I was an employer of about 20 professional people just a few years ago, when one of my team members came to me on a Monday morning and told me that she had been raped on the weekend. Someone had put the rape drug in her drink on the weekend. She wasn’t able to be productive at work, she needed time away,” Dean says
“Victims also stay in relationships with abusive partners for fear of how they will be treated by others who learn about the abuse. This fear stems from the way victims are often treated differently, both personally and professionally, after details of their victimization come to light.
Many victims of domestic abuse remain under the radar because they are ashamed that they have chosen to remain in a relationship with an abusive partner. Both culturally and socially, victims are sensitive to the judgment they fear from others, whether they are suffering physical abuse, emotional abuse or both. Reporting the perpetrator´s behavior would involve revealing embarrassing and humiliating details they would rather never discuss—especially if they have been enduring this treatment for years.”
Does an abuser you know fit one of these categories?
“Here’s a piece of Canadian trivia for you: Canada ranks among the highest consumers of antidepressants in the world. Yes, it’s true. Even here at GSC, our data shows that we pay more money in claims for antidepressants than any other type of medication – year after year after year.” Bobby McFerrin singing, “Don’t worry, be happy!” “Think about it. Everyone wants to be happy, right? As a society, we increasingly hold happiness up as a fundamental human right. Whether in our jobs, our marriages, our families and friendships, we … Continue reading
Thank you from me personally and from the women receiving shelter and protection at the Kamloops YWCA Women’s Shelter Kamloops YWCA. My December royalty cheque for “Wyoming Secrets” and “30,000 Secrets” went to them to assist in their operation in offering safety and regrouping to sexual and domestic assault survivors. “Kamloops YWCA @KamloopsY December 1st the kids at the Y Women’s Shelter wake up to a Christmas house and this year Charlie Brown and the Peanuts Gang have shown up! Holidays are a stressful time of year please donate and … Continue reading