Tag Archives: Domestic abuse

Social Responsibility. We all need to prevent domestic violence.

“Society has role to play in trying to prevent domestic violence. We do not have to allow this to happen. “Years worth of evidence suggests perpetrators of domestic violence exhibit patterns that make it possible to predict when someone is in harm’s way. Being aware of warning signs, experts said, could help prevent tragedies such as the one that unfolded in Ajax, Ont., earlier this week.” “… community members rather than justice or violence-prevention workers are often best positioned to take meaningful, potentially life-saving action.” Do not be apprehensive to … Continue reading

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Decision to leave your abuser is made. Where is your money?

Money. Where is yours? You have decided to leave your abuser but for years he has controlled your joint account. Where are the account numbers or passwords to access your money. How can you obtain this an other information necessary for a fresh start? Domestic Shelters offers tips on money matters Please share, anonymously, any advice or tips for women seeking financial stability when they leave. Tips on how to obtain the necessary information.

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Money! Don’t stay because of it. Leave & be free with it.

“…start by accepting responsibility for where you are and then make some changes. These changes to your life are not the end of your life. They are alterations that in the long run, will give you a better relationship to money and more financial freedom.” “We attach our entire life, our ego, our social status and our existence to money. If we have money we are successful, we lead a fun and desirable life and have material things that make us worthy. We fear losing money over everything else; we … Continue reading

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Lies! Lies and more Lies. How to break the Cycle of Abuse.

It’ll never happen again. He says he’s really sorry. It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now. He’s only controlling because he loves me. Read Domestic Abuse’s take on the Deadly Cycle “The Cycle proposes that domestic violence starts with tension building in a relationship before an “explosion” occurs—the actual incident of abuse—followed by a “honeymoon phase” where the abuser is apologetic, even romantic, promising the abuse won’t happen again. Soon after, the tension starts building again and the cycle … Continue reading

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Leaving an abuser. Safety planning with your children.

Do you need motivation to leave? Motivational video to inspire you to leave “If you are getting ready to leave an abuser, you’ll need to plan for the safety and care of your children during your departure. As you start planning and pack what you need, based on the age and maturity level of your children, you can decide how much to involve them in the safety plan.” Read advice from Domestic Shelters “Walking out the door and away from an abuser—or kicking an abusive partner out the door, if … Continue reading

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Sociopaths. Are you living with one? Are you in danger? Key? They blame others for their failures.

One thing to note: While we tend to use the terms “sociopath” and “psychopath” interchangeably, they mean different things. Whereas most sociopaths are prone to impulsive behavior and often seen as disturbed or unhinged, a psychopath is cold and calculating, sometimes even charming. “I view [psychopathy] as the extreme end of the antisocial spectrum,” says Dr. Black, “because virtually all psychopaths are antisocial, but not all anti-socials have psychopathy.” Read Health.com analysis of sociopathology Lack of Empathy Difficult relationships Manipulative Deceitfulness Callousness Hostility Irresponsibility Impulsivity Risky Behavior View video explaining … Continue reading

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Holidays & booze bring out the assailant in some relatives.

If a woman, friend or acquaintance, reached out to you for support, would you be an active listener? These women are. Bad Mom’s. Listen to Bell take charge & ignite her life from an oppressive partner If she told you her partner was abusing her, would you question her or support? If she told you her attacker was a relative, would u mock her n support her attacker? Taking control can be done solo and/or with friends. Bad Mom’s. Watch freedom in action. “It’s easy for those of us who … Continue reading

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“I’m so sorry. I will never hit you again. Believe me.”

Should you? Would you? Statistics are not on your side if you believe he will change. “31 percent of those convicted on a domestic violence charge were arrested again within a year of being released, according to the Center for Court Innovation, and 44 percent were arrested again within two years.” Read Domestic Shelters’ how past behaviors predict the future. “The chances are high that an abuser will be abusive again, and any past history of domestic violence should be a huge red flag,” says Gretchen Shaw, NCADV associate director. … Continue reading

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Assault Survivors. How can you help when they aren’t ready?

“Your sister/best friend/coworker/neighbor discloses to you that he or she is having “relationship difficulties.” With a bit more digging, you come to learn these difficulties are actually domestic abuse—psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual — there may even be physical violence occurring. Your heart drops and your anger level rises. You jump into advice-giving mode: This is what you’re going to do now, you say, and you begin counseling your friend on how to leave their partner.” Domestic Shelters. Educate, Listen & Support, Reassure & Remind Read Sue Villilo, CHOICES for Victims … Continue reading

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Recovering after a controlling relationship. Advice & Support.

“It takes a long time to recover from an abusive and controlling relationship. Being monitored, isolated, stalked and abused leave their mark.” Read Domestic Shelter’s advice on recovery after a controlling relationship. Reclaiming activities and friends previously blocked. Expressing yourself, free from criticism or violence. “It is natural for survivors to feel fear and regret from time to time. Looking ahead will give them hope. It is usually best for survivors to separate themselves as much as possible from the controlling person and his contacts, so they cannot be controlled … Continue reading

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