Tag Archives: Domestic abuse

Lies! Lies and more Lies. How to break the Cycle of Abuse.

It’ll never happen again. He says he’s really sorry. It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now. He’s only controlling because he loves me. Read Domestic Abuse’s take on the Deadly Cycle “The Cycle proposes that domestic violence starts with tension building in a relationship before an “explosion” occurs—the actual incident of abuse—followed by a “honeymoon phase” where the abuser is apologetic, even romantic, promising the abuse won’t happen again. Soon after, the tension starts building again and the cycle … Continue reading

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Leaving an abuser. Safety planning with your children.

Do you need motivation to leave? Motivational video to inspire you to leave “If you are getting ready to leave an abuser, you’ll need to plan for the safety and care of your children during your departure. As you start planning and pack what you need, based on the age and maturity level of your children, you can decide how much to involve them in the safety plan.” Read advice from Domestic Shelters “Walking out the door and away from an abuser—or kicking an abusive partner out the door, if … Continue reading

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Sociopaths. Are you living with one? Are you in danger? Key? They blame others for their failures.

One thing to note: While we tend to use the terms “sociopath” and “psychopath” interchangeably, they mean different things. Whereas most sociopaths are prone to impulsive behavior and often seen as disturbed or unhinged, a psychopath is cold and calculating, sometimes even charming. “I view [psychopathy] as the extreme end of the antisocial spectrum,” says Dr. Black, “because virtually all psychopaths are antisocial, but not all anti-socials have psychopathy.” Read Health.com analysis of sociopathology Lack of Empathy Difficult relationships Manipulative Deceitfulness Callousness Hostility Irresponsibility Impulsivity Risky Behavior View video explaining … Continue reading

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Holidays & booze bring out the assailant in some relatives.

If a woman, friend or acquaintance, reached out to you for support, would you be an active listener? These women are. Bad Mom’s. Listen to Bell take charge & ignite her life from an oppressive partner If she told you her partner was abusing her, would you question her or support? If she told you her attacker was a relative, would u mock her n support her attacker? Taking control can be done solo and/or with friends. Bad Mom’s. Watch freedom in action. “It’s easy for those of us who … Continue reading

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“I’m so sorry. I will never hit you again. Believe me.”

Should you? Would you? Statistics are not on your side if you believe he will change. “31 percent of those convicted on a domestic violence charge were arrested again within a year of being released, according to the Center for Court Innovation, and 44 percent were arrested again within two years.” Read Domestic Shelters’ how past behaviors predict the future. “The chances are high that an abuser will be abusive again, and any past history of domestic violence should be a huge red flag,” says Gretchen Shaw, NCADV associate director. … Continue reading

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Assault Survivors. How can you help when they aren’t ready?

“Your sister/best friend/coworker/neighbor discloses to you that he or she is having “relationship difficulties.” With a bit more digging, you come to learn these difficulties are actually domestic abuse—psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual — there may even be physical violence occurring. Your heart drops and your anger level rises. You jump into advice-giving mode: This is what you’re going to do now, you say, and you begin counseling your friend on how to leave their partner.” Domestic Shelters. Educate, Listen & Support, Reassure & Remind Read Sue Villilo, CHOICES for Victims … Continue reading

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Recovering after a controlling relationship. Advice & Support.

“It takes a long time to recover from an abusive and controlling relationship. Being monitored, isolated, stalked and abused leave their mark.” Read Domestic Shelter’s advice on recovery after a controlling relationship. Reclaiming activities and friends previously blocked. Expressing yourself, free from criticism or violence. “It is natural for survivors to feel fear and regret from time to time. Looking ahead will give them hope. It is usually best for survivors to separate themselves as much as possible from the controlling person and his contacts, so they cannot be controlled … Continue reading

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Personal boundaries. How to determine yours, then set them.

“When was the last time you thought about your personal boundaries? They are the non-negotiable lines that our partner cannot cross in order for us to feel respected and safe in a relationship. Boundaries keep us intact, and we should know and express them no matter how new, or not new, a relationship is. Boundaries protect our personal goals, dreams, values, autonomy and self-worth. If you haven’t thought about where your own boundaries stand, there’s no better time than the present” Read how to set personal boundaries from Domestic Shelters … Continue reading

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“What the hell do you know..” Lady Gaga. Until it happens to you.

“What the hell do you know until it happens to you?” Lady Gaga BELIEVE ME YOU WILL HEAR ME I AM WORTHY I LOVE MYSELF ONE IN FIVE COLLEGE WOMEN WILL BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED THIS YEAR UNLESS SOMETHING CHANGES If you want to be part of making a social change and move us all forward in equality and decency, view Lady Gaga’s video and share your reaction below. Lady Gaga explains, “What the hell do you know..” in her video Thanks to Lady Gaga and The Hunting Ground productions for … Continue reading

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“Love and abuse are not at all mutually exclusive.”*

* Holly Richmond, Ph.D., a somatic psychologist and adjunct professor at John F. Kennedy University. Don’t most divorce couples acknowledge that their marriage had some good times, but the bad finally outranked the good? “What they hang onto is those good times. The bad times are usually a smaller percentage of the relationship than the good.” So it can be easy to rationalize staying, waiting for the good times and hoping the bad times won’t happen again. Dr. Richmond Richmond points out that the issue is about you, the abuse … Continue reading

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