Surviving Valentine’s Day.

Survive Valentine’s Day. Love yourself. Treat yourself. Honor your contribution to the world.

Here’s how.

If you are just out of an abusive relationship or have been recuperating for some time, February 14 can be stressful, creating anxiety over what could have been and what you don’t have, a healthy relationship.

“For those who have lived through abuse, Valentine’s Day can be a triggering holiday. After all, it feels like there are nothing but happy, smiling couples abound on this day, holding hands and celebrating their seemingly perfect relationships.”

Domestic Shelter’s Guide to Valentine’s happiness

Empower yourself. Take command of the day. Make it your own. “Scott says that she caps off her Valentine’s Day by getting dressed up, putting on “empowering red lipstick” and taking herself and her children out to dinner.”

Why does the day have to be about romance? Why not make the day about loving yourself?

“No matter where you are on your healing journey, Valentine’s Day can still be tough. So why not go off script and nix the romance thing altogether? Take the pressure off yourself to make the day about a relationship with someone else and, instead, focus on the relationship you have with you.”

Surviving Valentine’s Day with children.

“With kids this Valentine’s Day? There are lots of fun things you can do—throw a family slumber party in the living room, let them take over the kitchen and make you any dinner they want (cereal and popcorn it is!). Here are 10 ideas. But, you could also use this day as a reminder that it’s never too early to start talking about healthy relationships. What do they look like? What are boundaries and how do you set your own? See our Children & Teens section for helpful articles to start the conversation.

Valentines with your family.

Are you a new partner of someone who has survived domestic violence? Read How New Partners Can Help Survivors in their Healing Journey for tips on what to do, and what not to do, as you start a new relationship.

If you need support on this day, don’t hesitate to reach out to a domestic violence advocate. You can find one near you here. Advocates are trained to help walk you through triggers or safety plan if today is the day you’re ready to leave your abusive partner.

Our thanks to Domestic Shelters for their insight and comments.

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About lazeejjs

Jonathan McCormick holds a Black Belt in Combat Martial Arts. He is a U.S Marine (Inactive), trained with famed CIA operative Rex Applegate and Ultimate Fighter Champion Royce Gracie and was the director of the Institute of Defense Tactics. He is a former member of the American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers and worked with members of various law enforcement agencies in the areas of suspect control and officer safety. He has written for law enforcement magazines BlueLine ( and Twenty-Four-Seven and has been a guest writer for the Vancouver Province. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets”, “Santa Barbara Secrets” and The “J” Team Series are inspirational novels which focus on women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives. View the Series
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One Response to Surviving Valentine’s Day.

  1. This is the first ever Valentine’s Day for me since I was a kid. I was never interested even in grammar school. I thought it isolated kids who didn’t receive a valentine. In high school and college, really?

    But now with Penelope, this is going to be special. Night out on the town, Santa Barbara, Calif. Whoop! Whoop!!

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