We are not referring to basic human politeness such as, “I’m sorry I’m late for our luncheon.”
“It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now.”
STOP IT! You are not responsible for any one’s behavior but your own.
“But repetitive, nearly constant apologies for every little thing—or, what Psychologist Paige Carambio, PsyD calls, “apologizing for existing”—can actually be an after-effect of trauma, a self-preservation technique survivors may think they still need to utilize in order to protect themselves.”
“She says that hearing verbal derogation day-in and day-out can cause you to internalize those messages. What carries over, even after leaving the abuser, is this feeling that you need to apologize for every little thing, especially with a new partner, says Carambio.”
“In women specifically, Carambio says she sees a need to over-apologize even when they weren’t abused. She says there’s a cultural notion that women shouldn’t speak up and say what they’re feeling, so they apologize for sharing their thoughts after they speak.”
You have courage. It may be buried from years of neglect, but it is there. Courage. Yours. Revisit it here.
Read the following from Domestic Shelters, regain that courage and make the phone call to a shelter which will change your life.
Next, visit this web page belonging to Dr. Maja, a professor at McMaster University. “Sociologist, professor, author, writer,