“Sorry!” “Sorry!” “Sorry!” Women, enough. Stop saying, “Sorry!”

We are not referring to basic human politeness such as, “I’m sorry I’m late for our luncheon.”

“It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now.”

STOP IT! You are not responsible for any one’s behavior but your own.

“But repetitive, nearly constant apologies for every little thing—or, what Psychologist Paige Carambio, PsyD calls, “apologizing for existing”—can actually be an after-effect of trauma, a self-preservation technique survivors may think they still need to utilize in order to protect themselves.”

“She says that hearing verbal derogation day-in and day-out can cause you to internalize those messages. What carries over, even after leaving the abuser, is this feeling that you need to apologize for every little thing, especially with a new partner, says Carambio.”

“In women specifically, Carambio says she sees a need to over-apologize even when they weren’t abused. She says there’s a cultural notion that women shouldn’t speak up and say what they’re feeling, so they apologize for sharing their thoughts after they speak.”

You have courage. It may be buried from years of neglect, but it is there. Courage. Yours. Revisit it here.
Read the following from Domestic Shelters, regain that courage and make the phone call to a shelter which will change your life.

Read Domestic Shelter’s advice. Stop apalogizing.

Next, visit this web page belonging to Dr. Maja, a professor at McMaster University. “Sociologist, professor, author, writer, apology-hater, confidence-builder and recovering make-up addict.”

About lazeejjs

Jonathan McCormick holds a Black Belt in Combat Martial Arts. He is a U.S Marine (Inactive), trained with famed CIA operative Rex Applegate and Ultimate Fighter Champion Royce Gracie and was the director of the Institute of Defense Tactics. He is a former member of the American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers and worked with members of various law enforcement agencies in the areas of suspect control and officer safety. He has written for law enforcement magazines BlueLine (www.blueline.ca) and Twenty-Four-Seven and has been a guest writer for the Vancouver Province. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets”, “Santa Barbara Secrets” and The “J” Team Series are inspirational novels which focus on women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives. View the Series
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1 Response to “Sorry!” “Sorry!” “Sorry!” Women, enough. Stop saying, “Sorry!”

  1. I remember in my law enforcement training when I would drop my male training partners who would whine because of their pain. I think they expected me to apologize, instead I smiled.

    I taught many female officers and it took a long time for them to get out of the “I’m sorry” mind set. But eventually they did.

    Stop saying “I’m Sorry” ladies!!

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