QUARANTINED WITH AN ABUSER

“For those trapped inside with an abusive partner, this strange new reality can bring with it the added horror of an uptick in abuse and a partner who may be purposefully misleading them to think help is no longer available. The reality is that the shelters we’ve heard from are all operating as normal, highly aware of the importance of keeping services accessible.” 

NOW IS THE TIME TO HELP

If you are living with a person who misuses drugs and/or alcohol, consider leaving immediately for a shelter. If money is an issue contact your state/province for assistance. Shelter staff will assist. Canadians can access Covid money here https://www.canada.ca/en/department-finance/economic-response-plan.html Americans here https://www.benefits.gov/help/faq/Coronavirus-resources

“It seems most everything is closing down because of the Coronavirus, aka COVID-19, now considered a global pandemic. Schools, restaurants and other retail and service industries are temporarily suspending business to help curb the spread following the CDC’s recommendation of social distancing, advising any events with over 50 people be cancelled for the next eight weeks. Individuals are urged to stay at home as much as possible—work from home, order-in groceries, cancel nonessential doctor’s appointments and elective surgeries—basically, self-quarantine.”

How Abusers May Use COVID-19 Against Survivors

Abusers will likely exploit the COVID-19 pandemic to their own advantage. “This is another opportunity for an abusive partner to control their partner,” says Akapo. 

Survivors should be aware that abusers may….

  • Manipulate survivors into believing there are no resources available for them or that police or paramedics won’t respond to their calls.
  • Try to tell survivors that the abuser is infected, that they’ve infected the survivor, and if the survivor leaves them, they’ll put others at risk (a way to tray them at home).
  • Forbid the survivor from seeing friends or family because of the risk.
  • Downplay the risk and force the survivor to leave the house, or threaten to kick them out and expose them to the virus. 
  • Limit sharing critical information about the virus with survivors.  

Make sure the information you’re receiving about COVID-19 and the response recommendations are correct by visiting the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website. The CDC also lists the symptoms for COVID-19 and gives instructions for what to do if you suspect you are infected.”

Safety Planning for a Quarantine

Coming up with a plan of what you can do will take away some of the anxiety about the unknown. If you’re afraid of being trapped in a home with an abusive partner, walk through the possible scenarios and decide ahead of time what your response will be. 

DomesticShelters.org offers a multitude of articles on creating safety plans here, but you may also start by asking yourself these questions:

  •  Do I feel like my health and my children’s health will be put at risk if I’m quarantined with my partner?
  • Is there anywhere else I can go where I will be safe for an extended period of time? 
  • Have I contacted a domestic violence advocate near me for options in my community?
  • Is there a friend or family member I can stay with if shelters are full? 
  • If I’m afraid of leaving without my pets, can I find a safe place for them to go? (See this article for resources.)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline warns that abusers may implement tactics such as withholding necessary supplies like medication, hand sanitizer, insurance cards or may prevent survivors from seeking medical care. 

Also important to note: The shelters we spoke to said they do not discriminate against survivors who are sick, nor would they ask a survivor to leave if they became sick. Scott says the YWCA’s protocol would be to seek medical help while limiting the survivor’s contact with others, potentially housing them at a nearby hotel instead of in shelter. “We’d never kick them out,” she says.”  

Are you in danger? Take this risk assessment test. https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/are-you-in-danger-take-this-risk-assessment-test/

SHELTER SAFE CANADA https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/shelter-safe-canada-2/

STOP THE VIOLENCE

Teenage dancers perform a Travis Wall choreographed routine which highlights the tragedy of the violence we inflict upon our fellow humans daily. https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/stop-the-violence-2/

Our sincere appreciation to Domesticshelters for this valuable information https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/in-the-news/the-danger-of-being-quarantined-with-an-abuser?fbclid=IwAR2EgBeAYC4kpi6hk-xZ2ma0NP5r63yKAt2eo_1wIch0mX1dmzBoAgL-aj8

About lazeejjs

Jonathan McCormick holds a Black Belt in Combat Martial Arts. He is a U.S Marine (Inactive), trained with famed CIA operative Rex Applegate and Ultimate Fighter Champion Royce Gracie and was the director of the Institute of Defense Tactics. He is a former member of the American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers and worked with members of various law enforcement agencies in the areas of suspect control and officer safety. He has written for law enforcement magazines BlueLine (www.blueline.ca) and Twenty-Four-Seven and has been a guest writer for the Vancouver Province. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets”, “Santa Barbara Secrets” and The “J” Team Series are inspirational novels which focus on women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives. View the Series
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