Online dating and ignoring RED flags.

“Kate” was six months out of a 15 year marriage.

Kate was 34.

She thought it was time to meet someone new.

She was right…and wrong.

“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.

“She says he was nice, at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. She had left him with their two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.”


“…he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.

Domestic Violence. Kate Survivor


“His parents were very odd. His dad bossed his mom around, and his mom was a pushover. His dad was very chauvinistic. He was their only child.”

Insults and demeaning comments. RED FLAG AGAIN & YET IGNORED.

“It felt like it went bad fast. He called me worthless, a loser, no wonder my ex-husband didn’t want me.”


Two years later.

Love and Fear Convinced Her to Stay

“Several years passed and things never seemed to get any better. In fact, Kate was starting to have regular panic attacks, though she didn’t connect them at the time to his abuse. She said her gut feeling was the things that were happening were very wrong, something her abuser tried to talk her out of.”

Kate stayed on…then she ended up in the hospital riddled with bullets.

“But the 911 operator kept talking, asking Kate if her abuser was still there. She said yes. Did he have any guns? She said yes, he had a gun on him. She turned around at that moment. Her abuser was facing her, pointing his gun at her head.

Kate ducked. The first bullet hit her in the right shoulder and she fell to the ground, the 911 operator still on the phone as her abuser shot her at least six more times.”

Read how she survived. Domestic Shelters

RED FLAG WARNINGS. Women sharing flag indicators.

You do not have to live this way. Learn how to gain courage

About lazeejjs

Jonathan McCormick holds a Black Belt in Combat Martial Arts. He is a U.S Marine (Inactive), trained with famed CIA operative Rex Applegate and Ultimate Fighter Champion Royce Gracie and was the director of the Institute of Defense Tactics. He is a former member of the American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers and worked with members of various law enforcement agencies in the areas of suspect control and officer safety. He has written for law enforcement magazines BlueLine ( and Twenty-Four-Seven and has been a guest writer for the Vancouver Province. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets”, “Santa Barbara Secrets” and The “J” Team Series are inspirational novels which focus on women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives. View the Series
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2 Responses to Online dating and ignoring RED flags.

  1. No offense to any woman, or man, who chooses to find a partner this way, but OMG what a Pandora’s Box this can be.

    I never felt the need for another person in my life and enjoyed the many friends and colleagues I made over the years.

    I met my partner Penelope working undercover in StoneHedge, Wyoming. I was training horses and she was a vet.

  2. We need this web site and the information more now than ever before. Even in a country like Canada which historically has been peaceful, attacks are on the rise.

    “Sexual assaults are among the least likely crimes to be reported to police, but last year 28,551 incidents were reported, with the biggest bumps seen in October, November and December as media stories focused on sexual abuse allegations against high-profile men, including film mogul Harvey Weinstein.”

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