Gaslighting. What is it? How to avoid being used.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting. This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light (and later, the 1940 movie, and later remakes), in which a husband tried to drive his wife crazy by dimming the gas-powered lights in their home. When his wife points out the change in light, he denies that the light changed at all. “

An Example of Gaslighting in a Relationship Looks Like This:

  • “Why are you making things up?!”
  • “You are so jealous!”
  • “Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.”
  • “It’s all in your head.

Gaslighting explained by Mariah Nichols.

“I’m definitely against, is pressuring people to forgive and shaming them if they don’t.”  Sophia King

“Women that don’t forgive, are assumed to be “scorned”, “bitter and twisted”. The stereotypes that surround “unforgiving” women, are used to gaslight them. “

Men often use the status of an unforgiving woman, to avoid accountability for their actions by disregarding whatever women accuse them of, by saying they’re “just bitter”. What he did was wrong but she’s worse for not being the better person and forgiving him.”

“Instead of telling someone they should forgive, tell the perpetrator not to do unforgivable things.” 

Our appreciation to DomesticShelters.com and Sophia King.

About lazeejjs

Jonathan McCormick holds a Black Belt in Combat Martial Arts. He is a U.S Marine (Inactive), trained with famed CIA operative Rex Applegate and Ultimate Fighter Champion Royce Gracie and was the director of the Institute of Defense Tactics. He is a former member of the American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers and worked with members of various law enforcement agencies in the areas of suspect control and officer safety. He has written for law enforcement magazines BlueLine (www.blueline.ca) and Twenty-Four-Seven and has been a guest writer for the Vancouver Province. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets”, “Santa Barbara Secrets” and The “J” Team Series are inspirational novels which focus on women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives. View the Series
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