“After you left, how was your life different?”

These women share their stories. Please share your experience at the bottom of the post so others know of the progress that can be made through their journey.

“Sorry!” “Sorry!” “Sorry!” Women, enough. Stop saying, “Sorry!” https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/sorry-sorry-sorry-women-enough-stop-saying-sorry/ “But repetitive, nearly constant apologies for every little thing—or, what Psychologist Paige Carambio, PsyD calls, “apologizing for existing”—can actually be an after-effect of trauma, a self-preservation technique survivors may think they still need to utilize in order to protect themselves.”

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Child abuse. Help stop it.

“Childhelp intervention programs protect children from danger along several steps of crisis resolution. The first step in our approach is the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, a 24/7 resource for children, parents, caregivers, teachers, and concerned individuals who suspect abuse may be occurring. The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. On average, the Childhelp National Child Abuse hotline receives well over 100,000 child abuse calls a year. While we have made significant progress, there’s still so much more work to be done! The next step in the intervention of child abuse is providing children with a safe place to live.

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Girls can reach, achieve and excel…But

“I wanted them to be like children, playing outside, running and jumping and not sitting inside at a desk,” said Lauren Anderson, who raised the kids in South Lake Tahoe, Calif. “They got to be free, building their bodies, protecting their spirits and minds, and not being pushed or pressured.”

Let’s scrap the idea that girls need to dress a certain way to avoid boys getting the “wrong idea”.

Let’s avoid modeling subservient behavior that our daughters believe they must live under the control of a man.

Let’s not teach our girls that their lives don’t matter compared to that of a man’s.

Let’s stop preparing our girls to be victims of sexual and domestic assaults.

Let’s teach our girls to be bad asses and take the world by storm and be anything they want to be and to be strong enough to reject criticism.

Let’s stop asking five year old girls, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

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“Girls need to know their place.”

The norm has been for girls to be raised to be nice, make people happy, disregard your ambitions and joys.

Parents can show them truck drivers, medical doctors and dentists. They can introduce them to female astronauts and a myriad of other careers previously forbidden

Little Big Town’s Fairchild sings a different tune, literally in this piece showing girls that they can reject the 1950’s social rules. It is 2020 and girls can do and be anything they want and parents do not have to introduce their toddlers to princesses and shining knights.

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Green Flags. What are they and why do they matter?

“What if we switched up that rhetoric, just for a moment, and focused on the potential good that could be waiting for us in the produce section of the grocery store, that coffee shop poetry reading or the speed dating our friends are dragging us to? You know, the “green flags.” Back in July, Buzzfeed talked about a Reddit thread where people called out such green flags—signs that a new person was more likely than not to be a decent, respectful and nonviolent human being.” Thanks to Domestic Shelters for this valuable information.

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Abusers. Are they identifiable?

“Understanding abuser statistics serves as a predictive indicator of a person who is more likely to abuse. The most common indicators are low socio-economic status, underemployment, prior criminal history, abused or witness of abuse as a child, substance abuser, mental disorders and/or an attitude that violence is okay. It is important to realize, however, that not all abusers possess these characteristics and that abusers exist in all strata of society; this article can help you identify abusive behaviors to watch for regardless of your partner’s makeup or past.”

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Posted in Abuse |

“10 Reasons Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman ❤️”

“10 Reasons Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman
gentleman

Women complain a lot that chivalry is dead and that there are no true gentlemen left in the world. But, chivalry is a concept from the medieval period that dictated the behavior between two warriors. The code of chivalry only relates to women in that women were a man’s property (either daughter or wife) and what a warrior needed to do so as not to offend his host or liege lord by not taking liberties with the women of the house.

The idea of the gentleman grew out of the aristocracy and the chivalric code when firearms made the knight obsolete. With their purpose (waging war) taken away from them, the aristocracy had to justify their existence and maintain their warlike demeanor even though they were rarely called upon to fight. Out of this grew the idea of personal honor and the willingness to fight at the drop of a hat for any offense, real or perceived. Throw women into the mix, and men were fighting and killing or dying to protect a woman’s honor.”

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Survivors’ Podcasts. Listen!

Below, 10 podcasts that survivors may find helpful, intriguing or empowering. Of course, with all survivor-related narratives, make sure to practice self-care before and during listening, and prepare for possible triggers that may be emotionally challenging. It may help to speak with someone at a domestic violence hotline about how you’re feeling after you listen.

“Years worth of evidence suggests perpetrators of domestic violence exhibit patterns that make it possible to predict when someone is in harm’s way. Being aware of warning signs, experts said, could help prevent tragedies such as the one that unfolded in Ajax, Ont., earlier this week.”

“… community members rather than justice or violence-prevention workers are often best positioned to take meaningful, potentially life-saving action.”

Do not be apprehensive to speak with police, thinking they will consider you an interloper. They will not. They would rather be proactive, investigate and find everyone safe than be reactive and find injuries or death.

https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/3576-2/

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Holiday office parties. How to attend without being sued or arrested.

Too often employees feel the need to change their office behavior at a holiday party. Doing so has lead to divorces, being fired and law suites.

Don’t become a statistic. You can attend the party, make your presence known, don’t consume alcohol and leave after thirty minutes.

“Employees of all levels of seniority and experience can take a company holiday party as license to relax standards of professional behavior. With the holiday season approaching, employees and employers should keep certain points in mind that can help prevent or address sexual harassment or other inappropriate conduct that occurs all-too-often at events that should be considered an extension of the workplace. ”

“Sexual Harassment – Still Not Allowed Away From the Office. Many people do not realize that sexual harassment may give rise to legal claims even if it is committed outside the office, by non-employees (such as clients, vendors and the friends or family of other employees), or when employees are “off the clock.” Employers should ensure that employees are aware of the fact that workplace standards of conduct still apply at company events and parties, and should redistribute the company’s policy against harassment and code of conduct in advance of such occasions. Employees also should dress appropriately and consistent with workplace standards of dress at company events – simply because an event is a party or away from the office does not mean that an

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Warning other women. Would you?

The problem is always whether she will believe you. We have all heard comments by the “Other Woman” putting down the former female saying he is such a wonderful guy, it had to be all her fault.

After escaping abuse, many survivors may find themselves questioning what obligation they have, if any, to warn potential future partners of the ex they just left. Survivors may feel guilty if they never reported or pressed charges for the abuse, for not leaving a trail of red flag breadcrumbs for new partners to see.

“As much as I would like to be able to warn other women, many abusers are gaslighters. They invalidate anything we might say by telling new girlfriends that their ex is a crazed stalker,” says survivor Amy*, who shared the heartbreaking story with us in April of giving up her son in order to keep him safe from an abuser. “

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Posted in Domestic Abuse |