MOM MET HIM THE NIGHT BEFORE. HE’S IN THE KITCHEN

“It starts somewhere. It starts in the home. I know what a mass shooter can look like.

First time I saw him, I was 13. The sun wasn’t even up yet and I was wearing my track uniform. I poured myself a bowl of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, turned and there he was, sitting at the round pale-blue Formica table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee.

He was a large man. Wavy hair and beard intertwined with strands of black and white. Blue-blue eyes. A department store Santa. He smiled at me. Introduced himself. I was late for practice. So I told him to wash his dishes before he left.”

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Posted in Assault survivors, Courage, Mental Health, Murdered women, Personal Safety, Violence prevention | Tagged , , , , |

Narcissist, Psychopath or Sociopath. Are you living with one, two, or all three? None? Learn to identify these three traits.

“A narcissist lacks empathy, is grandiose, entitled, constantly seeks validation and is arrogant. “When they do a bad thing, they feel a fair amount of guilt and shame,” says Durvsula.

According to the Mayo Clinic, narcissists can also become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment. They belittle others in order to appear superior. They exaggerate their achievements and talents. They monopolize conversations and disparage those they consider inferior.” Dr. Durvsula

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Posted in Uncategorized |

Emma Watson et al on strong women.

Assailants look for “Vics”, those of us who walk as though preoccupied. Carry yourself erect, shoulders back, head up and look at people you pass. Eye contact or lack of it tells an assailant you want to avoid confrontation and he’ll pick up on that. You don’t need to lock onto his face or stare, look, catch his eye, then look up or off to the side, not down (a passive message) is all that is necessary to get the message across that you’re aware of his presence and that you

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Posted in Uncategorized, Women's Rights | Tagged , , , |

What is domestic violence?

About Domestic Shelters

We make finding the right shelter and information about domestic violence easier. Instead of searching the Internet, it is all right here. We’ve painstakingly verified information on shelters in LA to shelters in NY, and every domestic violence program in between. If you or a friend is suffering from physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse or verbal abuse, this free service can help. Select domestic violence programs based on location, service and language needs. Find 24-hour hotlines in your area, service listings, and helpful articles on domestic violence statistics, signs and cycles of abuse, housing services, emergency services, legal and financial services, support groups for women, children and families, and more.

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Posted in Uncategorized |

How Social Stigma Silences Domestic Violence Victims

“Victims also stay in relationships with abusive partners for fear of how they will be treated by others who learn about the abuse. This fear stems from the way victims are often treated differently, both personally and professionally, after details of their victimization come to light.
Many victims of domestic abuse remain under the radar because they are ashamed that they have chosen to remain in a relationship with an abusive partner. Both culturally and socially, victims are sensitive to the judgment they fear from others, whether they are suffering physical abuse, emotional abuse or both. Reporting the perpetrator´s behavior would involve revealing embarrassing and humiliating details they would rather never discuss—especially if they have been enduring this treatment for years.”

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Posted in Domestic Abuse | Tagged , |

Gaslighting. What is it? How to avoid being used.

Gaslighting. This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light (and later, the 1940 movie, and later remakes), in which a husband tried to drive his wife crazy by dimming the gas-powered lights in their home. When his wife points out the change in light, he denies that the light changed at all. ”
An Example of Gaslighting in a Relationship Looks Like This:
“Why are you making things up?!”
“You are so jealous!”
“Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.”
“It’s all in your head.”

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Posted in Gaslighting |

Living alone versus living with a guy.

Live alone for a while. Many women jump at the chance to have a roommate or worse, live with a man. These women have zero transition from living with parents to spreading their wings. To do things without thinking of anyone but themselves.

“Gravitate to those who share genuine interests with you. Volunteer with any group which matches your interest; the SPCA, Hospice, Wellness, Reading to elementary children, seniors. Every community has a need for volunteers. “

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Posted in Mental Health, Women's Rights |

Divorce. Solutions to reduce the stress of gaining your freedom.

“Try to remember that this stressful conflict is not going to last forever and that you are in the home stretch to achieving your freedom and a path to happiness, something that would not have been possible if you had chosen to stay in this toxic relationship.”

Sage advice from women who have been there, done that and thrived.

Live alone for a while. Many women jump at the chance to have a roommate or worse, live with a man. These women have zero transition from living with parents to spreading their wings. To do things without thinking of anyone but themselves.

Don’t go to bars, pubs or taverns to mingle with like minded people. A night out with friends with whom you have a vocation or avocation in common with dinner and a few drinks, but hitting bars to get drunk is a dead-end route.

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Posted in Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Women's Rights |

“To Mike from Aggie”

Thanks to DIY and Mike Holmes for the photo

These women escaped a violent relationship. “A woman reached out to Mike Holmes directly seeking help for her daughter-in-law whose home repairs began piling up after being faced with a broken marriage and having to raise two children on her own. Now, Mike is using the experience to give valuable advice about sump pump maintenance, explain how to identify asbestos and provide intimate details about his own difficult upbringing.”

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Posted in Domestic Abuse | Tagged , |

Survivor’s story.

‘It Felt Like It Went Bad Fast’

Kate met him five years ago when she was 34. It had been six months since her divorce was finalized, ending a 15-year marriage. Kate was ready to meet someone new.

“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.

She says he was nice at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. The woman had left him with the couple’s two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.

He was angry—understandably so, she says, after what his ex did to him. But there was more than that—he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.

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Posted in Domestic Abuse, Women's Rights | Tagged , |