“10 Reasons Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman ❤️”

“10 Reasons Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman

Women complain a lot that chivalry is dead and that there are no true gentlemen left in the world. But, chivalry is a concept from the medieval period that dictated the behavior between two warriors. The code of chivalry only relates to women in that women were a man’s property (either daughter or wife) and what a warrior needed to do so as not to offend his host or liege lord by not taking liberties with the women of the house.

The idea of the gentleman grew out of the aristocracy and the chivalric code when firearms made the knight obsolete. With their purpose (waging war) taken away from them, the aristocracy had to justify their existence and maintain their warlike demeanor even though they were rarely called upon to fight. Out of this grew the idea of personal honor and the willingness to fight at the drop of a hat for any offense, real or perceived. Throw women into the mix, and men were fighting and killing or dying to protect a woman’s honor.”

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Survivors’ Podcasts. Listen!

Below, 10 podcasts that survivors may find helpful, intriguing or empowering. Of course, with all survivor-related narratives, make sure to practice self-care before and during listening, and prepare for possible triggers that may be emotionally challenging. It may help to speak with someone at a domestic violence hotline about how you’re feeling after you listen.

“Years worth of evidence suggests perpetrators of domestic violence exhibit patterns that make it possible to predict when someone is in harm’s way. Being aware of warning signs, experts said, could help prevent tragedies such as the one that unfolded in Ajax, Ont., earlier this week.”

“… community members rather than justice or violence-prevention workers are often best positioned to take meaningful, potentially life-saving action.”

Do not be apprehensive to speak with police, thinking they will consider you an interloper. They will not. They would rather be proactive, investigate and find everyone safe than be reactive and find injuries or death.


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Holiday office parties. How to attend without being sued or arrested.

Too often employees feel the need to change their office behavior at a holiday party. Doing so has lead to divorces, being fired and law suites.

Don’t become a statistic. You can attend the party, make your presence known, don’t consume alcohol and leave after thirty minutes.

“Employees of all levels of seniority and experience can take a company holiday party as license to relax standards of professional behavior. With the holiday season approaching, employees and employers should keep certain points in mind that can help prevent or address sexual harassment or other inappropriate conduct that occurs all-too-often at events that should be considered an extension of the workplace. ”

“Sexual Harassment – Still Not Allowed Away From the Office. Many people do not realize that sexual harassment may give rise to legal claims even if it is committed outside the office, by non-employees (such as clients, vendors and the friends or family of other employees), or when employees are “off the clock.” Employers should ensure that employees are aware of the fact that workplace standards of conduct still apply at company events and parties, and should redistribute the company’s policy against harassment and code of conduct in advance of such occasions. Employees also should dress appropriately and consistent with workplace standards of dress at company events – simply because an event is a party or away from the office does not mean that an

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Warning other women. Would you?

The problem is always whether she will believe you. We have all heard comments by the “Other Woman” putting down the former female saying he is such a wonderful guy, it had to be all her fault.

After escaping abuse, many survivors may find themselves questioning what obligation they have, if any, to warn potential future partners of the ex they just left. Survivors may feel guilty if they never reported or pressed charges for the abuse, for not leaving a trail of red flag breadcrumbs for new partners to see.

“As much as I would like to be able to warn other women, many abusers are gaslighters. They invalidate anything we might say by telling new girlfriends that their ex is a crazed stalker,” says survivor Amy*, who shared the heartbreaking story with us in April of giving up her son in order to keep him safe from an abuser. “

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Shelter Safe Canada

Shelter Safe Canada
Posted on December 10, 2019 by lazeejjs
We are reposting this valuable information to couple with the previous post on Surviving the Holidays.
Any time, day or night, there is someone to whom you can reach out.
SHELTER SAFE CANADA HOME PAGE https://www.sheltersafe.ca/

Shelter Safe is an interactive site. Just click on your province or territory and follow the prompts. There is a Shelter near you. Make the call if you are being abused.

If you want support, information or referrals you can call a shelter just to talk. Most shelters on this site have staff available 24 hours, 7 days per week to answer your call. Click on the shelters located in the area you wish to find help.

Shelter workers will work with you to design supports specific to your unique needs. They will maintain confidentiality and advocate for you in the complex web of services you may need to access.

It is a safe and welcoming home that accommodates women and their children when they are fleeing violence. Shelter addresses are kept confidential so that women (and children) cannot be found. You can generally stay in these homes for up to 30 days and sometimes longer. There are no charges for you to stay there.

Shelters provide women fleeing violence with the critical support services that will help them make their transition to a life free of abuse. Shelter workers liaise with a number of providers in the community to help women and their children and ensure that they have counseling support and health care.

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Holidays; Surviving & thriving.

The holidays can be a time of increased stress with abusers taking that out on their partner. For those who succeeded in leaving and have shared custody, it can be disquieting to deal with timing and logistics. Gift buying can swing from joy to frustration or even anger as you try to prepare for your ex purchasing expensive gifts to influence the children.

The holidays can be a time of increased stress with abusers taking that out on their partner. For those who succeeded in leaving and have shared custody, it can be disquieting to deal with timing and logistics. Gift buying can swing from joy to frustration or even anger as you try to prepare for your ex purchasing expensive gifts to influence the children.

Statistics reveal that many communities experience a drop in the number of calls for domestic abuse assistance. Counsellors do not believe incidents of abuse decline during holidays, but rather, “…survivors don’t want to disturb family cohesiveness on these days, or can’t find a private time to make a call for support, advocates say the decline in calls isn’t necessarily an indication that violence ceases on these days .”

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Morning rituals

Do you begin your mornings already behind schedule?

If you do, then you are a member of a growing group who have lost the ability to budget their time and control their destiny.

Here are some suggestions to retake control of your life and ease your stress load in the process.

8 Morning Habits That Simplify Your Life.
Morning habits
Mornings can get pretty hectic. There’s so much to do, lots of things to remember, and in big homes, it can all get quite chaotic. This sort of stress first thing in the morning can greatly affect your positive thinking and set a bad tone for the rest of the day. Start your day off with good habits that simplify your life.

So, what can you do to change this? As it turns out, there are lots of scientifically proven methods that can help reshape your morning habits.

The process of making food and drinks every morning can be a little time-consuming, leading to a lot of chaos as you attempt to get everything ready. If you’ve already figured out what you’ll be consuming, the process will be significantly slowed down. Here’s how to do so:

Many of us can’t fully wake up without a cup of coffee, but try making the preparation process faster. Try purchasing a coffee pot that has a timer. This will let you set things up in the evening. You can also buy a pot that lets you pre-load pods. If you’re not too much of a coffee “purist,” you can even opt for pre-made or bottled options!

Making breakfast early in the morning can take up a lot of time. This can make you skip breakfast on some days, which is a very bad idea. Eating breakfast provides countless positive benefits.

As such, you should try to prepare your breakfast the night before, so you can easily eat the next day. This also allows you to make a healthier breakfast. If it’s something you have to make fresh, lay out all the ingredients beforehand.

The same goes for packed lunches. If you bring your lunch to work with you, try to prep your meals in advance. That way, you can just grab your lunch and go.

If you take supplements and medications, make sure they’re all sorted out and arranged, ready for quick and easy taking. Put them near where you’ll eat breakfast so you can take them before or after as needed. You can also purchase a pill sorter to keep things extra organized.

The process of waking up itself can be a bit of a challenge. For many people. Here’s how to get it done the right way:

Natural light can trigger the hormones in your brain, helping you to wake up more easily. So once you get up, let the light stream in. If you tend to wake up right at sunrise, consider leaving the curtain open when you go to bed, so you wake up to the sun streaming in.

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Posted in Female role models, Happy living, Mental Health |

Social Media Safety

How to Make Your Social Media Less … Social

“Obviously, the safest way to stay hidden from an abuser is to stay off the Internet, but what kind of life is that? We get it: You want to be on social media, but you don’t want to put a target on yourself for stalkers or your abuser. Below, some ways to stay safe while still having an online presence.

Keep photos vague. Never post photos that show the location of your home or office. Prause says she posts a fake address for her work and never posts about her home neighborhood. If you want to post photos say, of your Disneyland vacation – an easily recognizable spot – wait until after you’ve left that place.
Read the rest of the safety measures. “

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As it stands, women are 16 times more likely to be killed with guns in the U.S. than in other developed countries, and more than half of all women killed with guns are murdered by intimate partners or family members.” Domestic Shelters

Know your rights and be aware of your state’s statutes. If a Canadian woman files a complaint against her partner or anyone making threats, police will arrive immediately and seize all firearms of the threatener.

“Standard protection orders do not always require the perpetrator to relinquish firearms. According to Sam Levy, counsel for Everytown, 30 states plus the District of Columbia prohibit firearm possession by people subject to domestic violence restraining orders (DVROs), though only 19 states and D.C. require abusers to turn in any guns in their possession.” Domestic Shelters

Several weeks after the Title statement, my student entered the gym jumping up and down like she just won a title fight. She explained, “I got the son-of-a-bitch! I got him. He will never control me again. I was in the grocery store last night and seeing me, he strutted up, all arrogant like he was. I took my stance and I knew, man, I knew he could sense the difference in me. I was ready to kick his ass and he could detect it.

As he approached, I said nothing. I maintained my stance and watched him walk by. As he did, he said, “I can shop here too you know. You don’t own this place.”

I frkin loved it. Now, lets get on with the training ladies.”

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Domestic Abuse. Why stay?

“The first time Carie Charlesworth’s husband abused her was six years and four children into their marriage. It was 2006, Carie’s birthday. The California mom had gone to a concert with her sister to celebrate and, on her way home, texted her husband Martin to let him know she was stuck in traffic. By the time she stopped by her parents’ house to pick up the couple’s 1-year-old daughters, it was almost 1 a.m.

“When I got home, all my clothes were on the front lawn,” says Carie. Her husband would tell her later that he knew she was lying. She hadn’t been at the concert or stuck in traffic. She had been talking to other men, probably with the intent of cheating on him. It’s something he had accused her of many times before, even though she says she never gave him any reason to think she was unfaithful.

That night, his anger boiled over. Before she could even get out of the car, Martin was by her window. He grabbed her keys so she couldn’t drive away before he started striking her repeatedly in the face while she sat in the car. Their daughters were sleeping in the backseat. One of his blows left a deep gash near Carie’s eye and it was only when Martin saw blood pouring down his wife’s face did he finally snap out of his rage.”

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