Lies! Lies and more Lies. How to break the Cycle of Abuse.

It’ll never happen again. He says he’s really sorry. It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner. He’s just stressed out right now. He’s only controlling because he loves me. Read Domestic Abuse’s take on the Deadly Cycle “The Cycle proposes that domestic violence starts with tension building in a relationship before an “explosion” occurs—the actual incident of abuse—followed by a “honeymoon phase” where the abuser is apologetic, even romantic, promising the abuse won’t happen again. Soon after, the tension starts building again and the cycle … Continue reading

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Dating violence. What parents think they know and what is really happening.

Parents, learn the language and communication devices/methods then start a dialog where you ask, listen and do not judge. Don’t be like this mother shown below, lecturing. You will be shut out. Among their findings: Teens and young adults think adults generally disrespect or distrust their dating relationships Youth said adults were “likely unaware or uninformed” about topics like technology and social media as they play a role in relationships, as well as the frequency and triviality of sex among teens. Teens said sex was “far less tied to emotions, … Continue reading

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Leaving an abuser. Safety planning with your children.

Do you need motivation to leave? Motivational video to inspire you to leave “If you are getting ready to leave an abuser, you’ll need to plan for the safety and care of your children during your departure. As you start planning and pack what you need, based on the age and maturity level of your children, you can decide how much to involve them in the safety plan.” Read advice from Domestic Shelters “Walking out the door and away from an abuser—or kicking an abusive partner out the door, if … Continue reading

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Sociopaths. Are you living with one? Are you in danger? Key? They blame others for their failures.

One thing to note: While we tend to use the terms “sociopath” and “psychopath” interchangeably, they mean different things. Whereas most sociopaths are prone to impulsive behavior and often seen as disturbed or unhinged, a psychopath is cold and calculating, sometimes even charming. “I view [psychopathy] as the extreme end of the antisocial spectrum,” says Dr. Black, “because virtually all psychopaths are antisocial, but not all anti-socials have psychopathy.” Read Health.com analysis of sociopathology Lack of Empathy Difficult relationships Manipulative Deceitfulness Callousness Hostility Irresponsibility Impulsivity Risky Behavior View video explaining … Continue reading

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Holidays & booze bring out the assailant in some relatives.

If a woman, friend or acquaintance, reached out to you for support, would you be an active listener? These women are. Bad Mom’s. Listen to Bell take charge & ignite her life from an oppressive partner If she told you her partner was abusing her, would you question her or support? If she told you her attacker was a relative, would u mock her n support her attacker? Taking control can be done solo and/or with friends. Bad Mom’s. Watch freedom in action. “It’s easy for those of us who … Continue reading

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Supporting a domestic abuse or sexual assault survivor during the holidays.

“It’s not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you they’ve been sexually assaulted, especially if they are a friend or family member. For a survivor, disclosing to someone they care about can be very difficult, so we encourage you to be as supportive and non-judgemental as possible.” Tips talking survivors sexual assault With the holidays here, one excellent way to share your support is by giving “Wyoming Secrets” or “30,000 Secrets” to a survivor. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets” and “Santa Barbara Secrets” due in late 2018, … Continue reading

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“I’m so sorry. I will never hit you again. Believe me.”

Should you? Would you? Statistics are not on your side if you believe he will change. “31 percent of those convicted on a domestic violence charge were arrested again within a year of being released, according to the Center for Court Innovation, and 44 percent were arrested again within two years.” Read Domestic Shelters’ how past behaviors predict the future. “The chances are high that an abuser will be abusive again, and any past history of domestic violence should be a huge red flag,” says Gretchen Shaw, NCADV associate director. … Continue reading

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Assault Survivors. How can you help when they aren’t ready?

“Your sister/best friend/coworker/neighbor discloses to you that he or she is having “relationship difficulties.” With a bit more digging, you come to learn these difficulties are actually domestic abuse—psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual — there may even be physical violence occurring. Your heart drops and your anger level rises. You jump into advice-giving mode: This is what you’re going to do now, you say, and you begin counseling your friend on how to leave their partner.” Domestic Shelters. Educate, Listen & Support, Reassure & Remind Read Sue Villilo, CHOICES for Victims … Continue reading

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“Don’t worry, be happy!” But can we? Should we always be happy?

“Here’s a piece of Canadian trivia for you: Canada ranks among the highest consumers of antidepressants in the world. Yes, it’s true. Even here at GSC, our data shows that we pay more money in claims for antidepressants than any other type of medication – year after year after year.” Bobby McFerrin singing, “Don’t worry, be happy!” “Think about it. Everyone wants to be happy, right? As a society, we increasingly hold happiness up as a fundamental human right. Whether in our jobs, our marriages, our families and friendships, we … Continue reading

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Honoring the women murdered at Ecole Polytechnique in Montreal

I trust I did the souls of the murdered women justice by portraying Jessica and her colleagues with strong and supportive characteristics, to propel women not to allow themselves to ever be placed in a powerless position. Collage courtesy of John Tory From “Wyoming Secrets”. “Jessica was a second-generation Japanese American Canadian whose parents were professionals in Toronto. Her dad Glenn was born and educated in California, taking his Doctorate-Ed.D. in education from the University of California at Berkeley, then a job at the University of Toronto where he rose … Continue reading

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