Living alone versus living with a guy.

Live alone for a while. Many women jump at the chance to have a roommate or worse, live with a man. These women have zero transition from living with parents to spreading their wings. To do things without thinking of anyone but themselves.

“Gravitate to those who share genuine interests with you. Volunteer with any group which matches your interest; the SPCA, Hospice, Wellness, Reading to elementary children, seniors. Every community has a need for volunteers. “

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Posted in Mental Health, Women's Rights |

Divorce. Solutions to reduce the stress of gaining your freedom.

“Try to remember that this stressful conflict is not going to last forever and that you are in the home stretch to achieving your freedom and a path to happiness, something that would not have been possible if you had chosen to stay in this toxic relationship.”

Sage advice from women who have been there, done that and thrived.

Live alone for a while. Many women jump at the chance to have a roommate or worse, live with a man. These women have zero transition from living with parents to spreading their wings. To do things without thinking of anyone but themselves.

Don’t go to bars, pubs or taverns to mingle with like minded people. A night out with friends with whom you have a vocation or avocation in common with dinner and a few drinks, but hitting bars to get drunk is a dead-end route.

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Posted in Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Women's Rights |

“To Mike from Aggie”

Thanks to DIY and Mike Holmes for the photo

These women escaped a violent relationship. “A woman reached out to Mike Holmes directly seeking help for her daughter-in-law whose home repairs began piling up after being faced with a broken marriage and having to raise two children on her own. Now, Mike is using the experience to give valuable advice about sump pump maintenance, explain how to identify asbestos and provide intimate details about his own difficult upbringing.”

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Posted in Domestic Abuse | Tagged , |

Survivor’s story.

‘It Felt Like It Went Bad Fast’

Kate met him five years ago when she was 34. It had been six months since her divorce was finalized, ending a 15-year marriage. Kate was ready to meet someone new.

“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.

She says he was nice at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. The woman had left him with the couple’s two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.

He was angry—understandably so, she says, after what his ex did to him. But there was more than that—he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.

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Posted in Domestic Abuse, Women's Rights | Tagged , |

Domestic abuse. The Drip affect.

The longer she spent with him, and particularly after they married in 2016, four years after meeting, the more his behavior became intimidating. He made comments about what she ate. He picked fights when she went out with her friends. He threw her things around their house. He berated her while out shopping. One night, she says, he even threatened to kill her. “It’s such a drip effect, each event gets a bit worse and a bit worse,” Curtis says, speaking softly from her home in Essex, southeast England. “And then someone has control over you.”

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Posted in Domestic Abuse | Tagged , |

“LGBTQ and Domestic Violence Leading facts and statistics on the LBGTQ population and domestic violence.”

The facts about LGBTQ partner abuse/domestic violence are often hidden by numerous myths and misconceptions. Common myths and misconceptions include the belief that women are not violent, that men are not commonly victims, that LGBTQ domestic violence is mutual, and that there are no significant differences between heterosexual domestic violence and same-gender domestic violence. However, people who are lesbian, gay and bisexual have an equal or higher prevalence of experiencing intimate partner violence, sexual violence and stalking as compared to heterosexuals.

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Posted in Domestic Abuse, Sexual assault survivors | Tagged , |

Violent Relationships-The Red Flags. Advice from the RCMP

In 2011, 19-year-old Maple Batalia was brutally murdered in public by a jealous ex-boyfriend. Her friend Benisha Aujla says it was only in hindsight that she saw the typical warning signs of a violent relationship.

Aujla decided to share those signs with RCMP Cpl. Samara Bilmer so they could help others see them before it’s too late.

“Abuse can be more subtle than just a punch in the face,” says Bilmer, who works in the Serious Crimes Unit in Chilliwack, B.C.

Read about what Bilmer says are the most common red flags of a violent relationship.

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Posted in Domestic Abuse, Women's Rights | Tagged , , |

“14 Misconceptions About Domestic Violence”

#WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft, in which survivors shared their stories of why they remained in abusive relationships and why they eventually got out. Yet misconceptions persist — that abuse is a private matter, that women who stay with abusive partners are simply weak-willed, that women are just as abusive as men. Cosmopolitan.com talked to the experts to clear up some of the most stubborn, and most dangerous, myths about intimate partner violence.

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Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , |

Sexual harasser transferred to internal affairs. LAPD

“Verbal abuse was the most common form of harassment for both men and women with 13 per cent of women reporting they’d experienced abuse in the preceding year.”

This is why many hospitals and clinics have conspicuous signs reading, “Violence and abusive language will not be tolerated”.

Staff need to be trained in delivering acceptable dialog to de-escalate but also to have an emergency button to call security.

I taught psychiatric nurses defensive tactics which are usable against either verbally or physically aggressive patients. Their union had requested the training when repeated appeals for improved security were ignored by hospital management.

“Sexual harassment was most likely to affect women, with four per cent saying they had experienced unwanted sexual attention in the workplace, compared to fewer than one per cent of men.”

Many men often respond to the above statistics with, “Ya, I should be so lucky”. A junior high response to an increasing problem which women have dealt with for years.

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Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , |

Voter intimidation & why it matters

Ignoring voter intimidation makes it easier for social progress to be reversed.
Canadian provincial elections have seen the approval of conservative governments with anti-abortion groups having supported a number of right wing candidates.

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Posted in Abortion rights, Women's Rights | Tagged , |

Sexual harassment at work, a teen’s perspective.

“Verbal abuse was the most common form of harassment for both men and women with 13 per cent of women reporting they’d experienced abuse in the preceding year.”

This is why many hospitals and clinics have conspicuous signs reading, “Violence and abusive language will not be tolerated”.

Staff need to be trained in delivering acceptable dialog to deescalate but also to have an emergency button to call security.

I taught psychiatric nurses defensive tactics which are usable against either verbally or physically aggressive patients. Their union had requested the training when repeated appeals for improved security were ignored by hospital management.

“Sexual harassment was most likely to affect women, with four per cent saying they had experienced unwanted sexual attention in the workplace, compared to fewer than one per cent of men.”

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Posted in Assault survivors, Sexual assault survivors, Sexual Assault/Harassment, Women's Rights, Work place safety | Tagged , , |

Sexual assailant says he will never feel remorse for his victims.

“I will never have remorse.” Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby, “America’s beloved father figure” speaks his truth and that of far too many criminals of his ilk.

“He said, “my political beliefs, my actions of trying to humanize all races, genders and religions landed me in this place surrounded by barb wire fencing, a room made of steel and iron.”
His victim(s) waited 14 years for his incarceration.
“Cosby, 81, received his sentence after being found guilty of having drugged and sexually assaulted Toronto woman Andrea Constand in 2004.” Charles Mason
“Look down at me and you see a fool; look up at me and you see a god; look straight at me and you see yourself.”

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Posted in Assault survivors, Date Rape, Domestic Abuse, Hollywood, overcoming it and finding courage, Personal Safety, Rape Culture, Sexual assault survivors | Tagged , , , , , |