Crappy childhood? Didn’t we all?

There are crappy childhoods, then there are traumatic ones. We need to move on.

You were raised by bigots, but you got over it.

Your parents were/are racists. You are not. Write them out of your life and move on.

You were physically abused as a child. Now you are an adult. Don’t perpetuate the behavior with your own children or those of others and move on.

“A lot of people do have tragic childhoods. But you know what? Get over it.” Phil McGraw

But what if you can’t? What if you were sexually abused and have struggled with the memory for decades?

“Four years ago, repressed memories of sexual abuse came up while I was simply living my life. For a year, I hid in silence, went to doctors because I thought I was crazy and convinced myself it must be a brain tumor. During this time, horrid poetry surfaced in my journaling sessions and nightmares haunted me. I tried to run but it needed to be recognized.”

Seeking a label for yourself and for your feelings can be an exhausting and futile task.

“I was hospitalized four times in 2014 for suicidal ideation. I was diagnosed with different disorders each time. I finally met a therapist who said, “Raechel, what happened to you was horrible. You are going to have symptoms of several different mental illnesses as the chaos is being processed.” Then, I read a similar statement in one of my workbooks. I recognize symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder, borderline personality and anxiety. I haven’t found one label to attach but learning a little about each has helped me face parts of my trauma.”

“There are many parts to healing. The only good advice I have gotten (which is also the hardest) is to be kind to yourself. Recognize the little steps because they are actually huge, wonderful steps. It is OK to fall. It is OK to want attention, to want to be saved. It is OK to eat popcorn and watch chick flicks or Marvel movies all day in the dark.”

Keys to moving on.

Domestic Shelters. Read more about how to move on with your life.

About lazeejjs

Jonathan McCormick holds a Black Belt in Combat Martial Arts. He is a U.S Marine (Inactive), trained with famed CIA operative Rex Applegate and Ultimate Fighter Champion Royce Gracie and was the director of the Institute of Defense Tactics. He is a former member of the American Society of Law Enforcement Trainers and worked with members of various law enforcement agencies in the areas of suspect control and officer safety. He has written for law enforcement magazines BlueLine ( and Twenty-Four-Seven and has been a guest writer for the Vancouver Province. “Wyoming Secrets”, “30,000 Secrets”, “Santa Barbara Secrets” and The “J” Team Series are inspirational novels which focus on women who feel overwhelmed by the threat of violence in their lives. View the Series
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2 Responses to Crappy childhood? Didn’t we all?

  1. The small steps written about above may be what Penelope and Rebecca are doing to establish trust with Santa Barbara homeless teens. I know they are headed there today with donuts and coffee with one of the street workers from the women’s center.

    Survivors have to start somewhere.

  2. I can not imagine the trauma of being sexually assaulted. Sexual or racial harassment pales by comparison, if one can even be made.

    We all need to increase our support of survivors, educate our youth, male and female, regarding consent and stop the abuse of each other.

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