Category Archives: Domestic Abuse

Recovering after a controlling relationship. Advice & Support.

“It takes a long time to recover from an abusive and controlling relationship. Being monitored, isolated, stalked and abused leave their mark.” Read Domestic Shelter’s advice on recovery after a controlling relationship. Reclaiming activities and friends previously blocked. Expressing yourself, free from criticism or violence. “It is natural for survivors to feel fear and regret from time to time. Looking ahead will give them hope. It is usually best for survivors to separate themselves as much as possible from the controlling person and his contacts, so they cannot be controlled … Continue reading

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“What the hell do you know..” Lady Gaga. Until it happens to you.

“What the hell do you know until it happens to you?” Lady Gaga BELIEVE ME YOU WILL HEAR ME I AM WORTHY I LOVE MYSELF ONE IN FIVE COLLEGE WOMEN WILL BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED THIS YEAR UNLESS SOMETHING CHANGES If you want to be part of making a social change and move us all forward in equality and decency, view Lady Gaga’s video and share your reaction below. Lady Gaga explains, “What the hell do you know..” in her video Thanks to Lady Gaga and The Hunting Ground productions for … Continue reading

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“Love and abuse are not at all mutually exclusive.”*

* Holly Richmond, Ph.D., a somatic psychologist and adjunct professor at John F. Kennedy University. Don’t most divorce couples acknowledge that their marriage had some good times, but the bad finally outranked the good? “What they hang onto is those good times. The bad times are usually a smaller percentage of the relationship than the good.” So it can be easy to rationalize staying, waiting for the good times and hoping the bad times won’t happen again. Dr. Richmond Richmond points out that the issue is about you, the abuse … Continue reading

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Barb’s Benches. Honoring the memory of women murdered by their partners.

This is a significant social position which we encourage everyone to share and promote. “In Nova Scotia, purple benches located in public places serve a dual role—they honor the memory of women who were murdered by their partners and they provide information so that people facing domestic violence know where to turn for help. “Known as Barb’s Benches, the colorful memorials were launched to help keep alive the memory of Barbara Baillie who was killed by her husband on Oct. 19, 1990. As the 25th anniversary of her murder approached, … Continue reading

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Were you a child in a domestic abuse family?

If yes, then you may find solace in this information. If no, please share regardless as there are thousands of adults suffering from what they believe is their responsibility. “10 falsehoods children with CDV carry with them into adulthood can severely hold them back and need to be unlearned. Here are four, and their corresponding truths.” Exceptional appreciation to Domestic Shelters for bringing this to our attention. Domestic Shelters Ten Falsehoods revealed “It was my fault. I caused it and I should have stopped it.” Children think emotionally, not rationally. … Continue reading

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Profile of an abuser. Is it possible to spot an abusive partner before you get involved?

“…some abusers grow up in households where domestic violence against a family member, such as their mother, was commonplace.” Profile of an abuser Domestic Shelters Profile of an Abuser/Batterer Jealousy (questioning her constantly about whereabouts, and jealous of time she spends away from him). Controlling behavior (I’ve had clients who’s victim couldn’t get a job, leave the house or bathe without his permission) Isolation (Makes partner move away from family and friends so that she depends on him solely for support.) Forces her to have sex against her will (I’ve … Continue reading

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“30,000 Secrets” the first “J” Team Series’ sequel

Jessica, Rebecca and Elisabeth resolve many of their personal issues while working with Canada’s RCMP, the Secret Service and FBI to trace stolen radio active material from a Manitoba facility.

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Finding a Shelter, Domestic Abuse Survivor’s Guide

Our appreciation to Domesticshelters.org for this helpful information. Finding a shelter DO NOT WAIT until your situation disintegrates into this: “Seeking shelter can be a temporary move, to ensure your immediate safety and the safety of your children, or it can be part of a permanent plan to leave your abuser. Shelter may be the first step, followed by transitional, and then, hopefully, new and permanent housing.” As far as money goes, shelters are not hotels and will never charge you. Executive Director Alden Henrickson of the Rape and Abuse … Continue reading

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How to End Your Victim Mindset

Or, as one woman mentioned recently, “I am now my own advocate.” “After someone has been forced to endure unpleasant encounters, she becomes unwilling or unable to avoid such encounters in the future because she believes she cannot control them.” Why domestic violence survivors continue to suffer long after Many of my students have felt this way and it takes months and often years of counselling for a survivor to move to the next step, which is learning defensive tactics. Counselors have told me, “Her past has shown her that … Continue reading

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Alcohol and abuse.

“While alcohol can’t take the entirety of the blame for an abuser’s behavior, Bennett says it’s also incorrect to say they’re not connected at all, either. “You can find plenty of examples of individuals who have been sober for decades and are still violent.” Having sought safety through the Women’s Shelters, counselled on leaving strategies and trained in defensive tactics by me, many angry, drunk husbands/partners blame me for their spouse’s departure. They are incapable of taking responsibility for their behavior and yet, even when inebriated know they will lose … Continue reading

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