Category Archives: Domestic Abuse

Domestic Abuse. Why stay?

“The first time Carie Charlesworth’s husband abused her was six years and four children into their marriage. It was 2006, Carie’s birthday. The California mom had gone to a concert with her sister to celebrate and, on her way home, texted her husband Martin to let him know she was stuck in traffic. By the time she stopped by her parents’ house to pick up the couple’s 1-year-old daughters, it was almost 1 a.m.

“When I got home, all my clothes were on the front lawn,” says Carie. Her husband would tell her later that he knew she was lying. She hadn’t been at the concert or stuck in traffic. She had been talking to other men, probably with the intent of cheating on him. It’s something he had accused her of many times before, even though she says she never gave him any reason to think she was unfaithful.

That night, his anger boiled over. Before she could even get out of the car, Martin was by her window. He grabbed her keys so she couldn’t drive away before he started striking her repeatedly in the face while she sat in the car. Their daughters were sleeping in the backseat. One of his blows left a deep gash near Carie’s eye and it was only when Martin saw blood pouring down his wife’s face did he finally snap out of his rage.”

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Housing for survivors. Steven Tyler Aerosmith

“The famous musician donated half a million dollars from his charity Janie’s Fund to help the center open its doors.
With the $500,000 that Tyler, 70, donated, the Youth Villages organization was able to renovate a Memphis-area home for the cause. Youth Villages is a national foundation that assists children and helps them cope with mental, behavioral, and emotional problems.”

What is Domestic Violence?

We make finding the right shelter and information about domestic violence easier. Instead of searching the Internet, it is all right here. We’ve painstakingly verified information on shelters in LA to shelters in NY, and every domestic violence program in between. If you or a friend is suffering from physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse or verbal abuse, this free service can help. Select domestic violence programs based on location, service and language needs. Find 24-hour hotlines in your area, service listings, and helpful articles on domestic violence statistics, signs and cycles of abuse, housing services, emergency services, legal and financial services, support groups for women, children and families, and more.
https://www.jonathanmccormick.com/what-is-domestic-violence/

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Domestic Abuse. Do you know?

Those who have never experienced the trauma of physical and/or mental manipulation and violence may not be able to grasp the magnitude.

Here is a story of a woman who escapes only to find her abuser tracks her down to kill.

Viewing the film and perusing the attached link explaining domestic abuse may help readers understand and reach out to those in need.
We read a great deal about domestic violence here and of the numerous Resources available. But what is domestic violence exactly and how does a woman, unaware she is being abused, identify her situation?

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Paid leave for sexual and domestic assault survivors

The provincial government is considering paid work leaves for victims of sexual and domestic violence.

Parliamentary Secretary for Gender Equity Mitzi Dean says the province is considering changes to the Employment Standards Act to do so, and says public feedback is now being taken online.

She says victims of domestic and sexual assault need to rebuild their lives.

“I remember when I was an employer of about 20 professional people just a few years ago, when one of my team members came to me on a Monday morning and told me that she had been raped on the weekend. Someone had put the rape drug in her drink on the weekend. She wasn’t able to be productive at work, she needed time away,” Dean says

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Survivors’ Stories from Domestic Shelters

“You must feed your mind with reading material, thoughts, and ideas that open you to new possibilities.”

Oprah

“There is no life to be found in violence. Every act of violence brings us closer to death. Whether it’s the mundane violence we do to our bodies by overeating toxic food or drink or the extreme violence of child abuse, domestic warfare, life-threatening poverty, addiction, or state terrorism.”

Gloria Jean Watkins Feminist/Social Activist

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How Social Stigma Silences Domestic Violence Victims

“Victims also stay in relationships with abusive partners for fear of how they will be treated by others who learn about the abuse. This fear stems from the way victims are often treated differently, both personally and professionally, after details of their victimization come to light.
Many victims of domestic abuse remain under the radar because they are ashamed that they have chosen to remain in a relationship with an abusive partner. Both culturally and socially, victims are sensitive to the judgment they fear from others, whether they are suffering physical abuse, emotional abuse or both. Reporting the perpetrator´s behavior would involve revealing embarrassing and humiliating details they would rather never discuss—especially if they have been enduring this treatment for years.”

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Divorce. Solutions to reduce the stress of gaining your freedom.

“Try to remember that this stressful conflict is not going to last forever and that you are in the home stretch to achieving your freedom and a path to happiness, something that would not have been possible if you had chosen to stay in this toxic relationship.”

Sage advice from women who have been there, done that and thrived.

Live alone for a while. Many women jump at the chance to have a roommate or worse, live with a man. These women have zero transition from living with parents to spreading their wings. To do things without thinking of anyone but themselves.

Don’t go to bars, pubs or taverns to mingle with like minded people. A night out with friends with whom you have a vocation or avocation in common with dinner and a few drinks, but hitting bars to get drunk is a dead-end route.

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Posted in Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Women's Rights |

“To Mike from Aggie”

Thanks to DIY and Mike Holmes for the photo

These women escaped a violent relationship. “A woman reached out to Mike Holmes directly seeking help for her daughter-in-law whose home repairs began piling up after being faced with a broken marriage and having to raise two children on her own. Now, Mike is using the experience to give valuable advice about sump pump maintenance, explain how to identify asbestos and provide intimate details about his own difficult upbringing.”

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Survivor’s story.

‘It Felt Like It Went Bad Fast’

Kate met him five years ago when she was 34. It had been six months since her divorce was finalized, ending a 15-year marriage. Kate was ready to meet someone new.

“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.

She says he was nice at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. The woman had left him with the couple’s two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.

He was angry—understandably so, she says, after what his ex did to him. But there was more than that—he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.

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Domestic abuse. The Drip affect.

The longer she spent with him, and particularly after they married in 2016, four years after meeting, the more his behavior became intimidating. He made comments about what she ate. He picked fights when she went out with her friends. He threw her things around their house. He berated her while out shopping. One night, she says, he even threatened to kill her. “It’s such a drip effect, each event gets a bit worse and a bit worse,” Curtis says, speaking softly from her home in Essex, southeast England. “And then someone has control over you.”

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