Category Archives: Domestic Abuse
Those who have never experienced the trauma of physical and/or mental manipulation and violence may not be able to grasp the magnitude.
Here is a story of a woman who escapes only to find her abuser tracks her down to kill.
Viewing the film and perusing the attached link explaining domestic abuse may help readers understand and reach out to those in need.
We read a great deal about domestic violence here and of the numerous Resources available. But what is domestic violence exactly and how does a woman, unaware she is being abused, identify her situation?
The provincial government is considering paid work leaves for victims of sexual and domestic violence.
Parliamentary Secretary for Gender Equity Mitzi Dean says the province is considering changes to the Employment Standards Act to do so, and says public feedback is now being taken online.
She says victims of domestic and sexual assault need to rebuild their lives.
“I remember when I was an employer of about 20 professional people just a few years ago, when one of my team members came to me on a Monday morning and told me that she had been raped on the weekend. Someone had put the rape drug in her drink on the weekend. She wasn’t able to be productive at work, she needed time away,” Dean says
“You must feed your mind with reading material, thoughts, and ideas that open you to new possibilities.”
“There is no life to be found in violence. Every act of violence brings us closer to death. Whether it’s the mundane violence we do to our bodies by overeating toxic food or drink or the extreme violence of child abuse, domestic warfare, life-threatening poverty, addiction, or state terrorism.”
Gloria Jean Watkins Feminist/Social Activist
“Victims also stay in relationships with abusive partners for fear of how they will be treated by others who learn about the abuse. This fear stems from the way victims are often treated differently, both personally and professionally, after details of their victimization come to light.
Many victims of domestic abuse remain under the radar because they are ashamed that they have chosen to remain in a relationship with an abusive partner. Both culturally and socially, victims are sensitive to the judgment they fear from others, whether they are suffering physical abuse, emotional abuse or both. Reporting the perpetrator´s behavior would involve revealing embarrassing and humiliating details they would rather never discuss—especially if they have been enduring this treatment for years.”
“Try to remember that this stressful conflict is not going to last forever and that you are in the home stretch to achieving your freedom and a path to happiness, something that would not have been possible if you had chosen to stay in this toxic relationship.”
Sage advice from women who have been there, done that and thrived.
Live alone for a while. Many women jump at the chance to have a roommate or worse, live with a man. These women have zero transition from living with parents to spreading their wings. To do things without thinking of anyone but themselves.
Don’t go to bars, pubs or taverns to mingle with like minded people. A night out with friends with whom you have a vocation or avocation in common with dinner and a few drinks, but hitting bars to get drunk is a dead-end route.
These women escaped a violent relationship. “A woman reached out to Mike Holmes directly seeking help for her daughter-in-law whose home repairs began piling up after being faced with a broken marriage and having to raise two children on her own. Now, Mike is using the experience to give valuable advice about sump pump maintenance, explain how to identify asbestos and provide intimate details about his own difficult upbringing.”
‘It Felt Like It Went Bad Fast’
Kate met him five years ago when she was 34. It had been six months since her divorce was finalized, ending a 15-year marriage. Kate was ready to meet someone new.
“I thought, ‘Oh, it’ll be fun to try online dating,’” she remembers.
She says he was nice at first, but red flags popped up almost immediately, things that she pushed aside, hoping she could help him through. He had just gotten out of a relationship with a woman who was a heroin addict. The woman had left him with the couple’s two young children, a 2-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. Kate says he didn’t seem all that attached to his children, or affectionate, something that struck her as troublesome.
He was angry—understandably so, she says, after what his ex did to him. But there was more than that—he seemed to have a hatred for women in general, often spewing sexist rhetoric about how women were given unfair advantages in life, how they wanted equal rights and then still needed help from men.
The longer she spent with him, and particularly after they married in 2016, four years after meeting, the more his behavior became intimidating. He made comments about what she ate. He picked fights when she went out with her friends. He threw her things around their house. He berated her while out shopping. One night, she says, he even threatened to kill her. “It’s such a drip effect, each event gets a bit worse and a bit worse,” Curtis says, speaking softly from her home in Essex, southeast England. “And then someone has control over you.”
“LGBTQ and Domestic Violence Leading facts and statistics on the LBGTQ population and domestic violence.”
The facts about LGBTQ partner abuse/domestic violence are often hidden by numerous myths and misconceptions. Common myths and misconceptions include the belief that women are not violent, that men are not commonly victims, that LGBTQ domestic violence is mutual, and that there are no significant differences between heterosexual domestic violence and same-gender domestic violence. However, people who are lesbian, gay and bisexual have an equal or higher prevalence of experiencing intimate partner violence, sexual violence and stalking as compared to heterosexuals.
In 2011, 19-year-old Maple Batalia was brutally murdered in public by a jealous ex-boyfriend. Her friend Benisha Aujla says it was only in hindsight that she saw the typical warning signs of a violent relationship.
Aujla decided to share those signs with RCMP Cpl. Samara Bilmer so they could help others see them before it’s too late.
“Abuse can be more subtle than just a punch in the face,” says Bilmer, who works in the Serious Crimes Unit in Chilliwack, B.C.
Read about what Bilmer says are the most common red flags of a violent relationship.