Category Archives: Assault survivors

MOM MET HIM THE NIGHT BEFORE. HE’S IN THE KITCHEN

“It starts somewhere. It starts in the home. I know what a mass shooter can look like.

First time I saw him, I was 13. The sun wasn’t even up yet and I was wearing my track uniform. I poured myself a bowl of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch, turned and there he was, sitting at the round pale-blue Formica table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee.

He was a large man. Wavy hair and beard intertwined with strands of black and white. Blue-blue eyes. A department store Santa. He smiled at me. Introduced himself. I was late for practice. So I told him to wash his dishes before he left.”

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Posted in Assault survivors, Courage, Mental Health, Murdered women, Personal Safety, Violence prevention | Tagged , , , , |

Sexual harassment at work, a teen’s perspective.

“Verbal abuse was the most common form of harassment for both men and women with 13 per cent of women reporting they’d experienced abuse in the preceding year.”

This is why many hospitals and clinics have conspicuous signs reading, “Violence and abusive language will not be tolerated”.

Staff need to be trained in delivering acceptable dialog to deescalate but also to have an emergency button to call security.

I taught psychiatric nurses defensive tactics which are usable against either verbally or physically aggressive patients. Their union had requested the training when repeated appeals for improved security were ignored by hospital management.

“Sexual harassment was most likely to affect women, with four per cent saying they had experienced unwanted sexual attention in the workplace, compared to fewer than one per cent of men.”

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Posted in Assault survivors, Sexual assault survivors, Sexual Assault/Harassment, Women's Rights, Work place safety | Tagged , , |

Sexual assailant says he will never feel remorse for his victims.

“I will never have remorse.” Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby, “America’s beloved father figure” speaks his truth and that of far too many criminals of his ilk.

“He said, “my political beliefs, my actions of trying to humanize all races, genders and religions landed me in this place surrounded by barb wire fencing, a room made of steel and iron.”
His victim(s) waited 14 years for his incarceration.
“Cosby, 81, received his sentence after being found guilty of having drugged and sexually assaulted Toronto woman Andrea Constand in 2004.” Charles Mason
“Look down at me and you see a fool; look up at me and you see a god; look straight at me and you see yourself.”

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Posted in Assault survivors, Date Rape, Domestic Abuse, Hollywood, overcoming it and finding courage, Personal Safety, Rape Culture, Sexual assault survivors | Tagged , , , , , |

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the “J” Team

Merry Xmas from The JTeam Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the “J” Team. We hope you are enjoying our novels and are ready for “Santa Barbara Secrets” debuting in the New Year. Rebecca, Elisabeth, Jessica, Jason, Jackson and Jonathan Someday at Christmas. Andra and Stevie share a message. Can we all work toward this goal which has been elusive for centuries? Listen to Andra and Stevie Holidays & booze bring out the assailant in some relatives. Please reach out to any woman who is surviving violence in her life … Continue reading

Posted in "J" Team Series, Assault survivors, Domestic Abuse, Women's Fiction, Women's Rights | Tagged , , , |

RCMP and Vancouver PD. One reactive. One proactive approach to sexual assault.

Law Enforcement is reactive. That is a fact of life. Women, DO NOT allow yourself to be part of this reaction to a sexual or domestic assault. Learn what you need to know to prevent it from happening. Survivors have historically been seen by law enforcement as being part of their own assault. Below, the RCMP is assuring survivors, that is no longer the case with the Force. There have been remarkable changes since Commissioner Brenda Lecki took office. This is but one. “Sexual assault is a devastating crime that … Continue reading

Posted in Assault survivors | Tagged , , , , |

Teach our boys to be respectful men.

Teaching our boys. “What can I do to shape my son into a respectful man—one who doesn’t assault women, most importantly, but who also doesn’t make lewd jokes, grab butts, mock victims, or generally treat women as if they’re inferior?” How do I teach my son to treat girls with respect? “Aren’t the people best positioned to prevent sexual assaults the people who usually commit sexual assaults in the first place?” Melinda Wenner Moyer HE WILL NOT CHANGE A Women’s Resource Centre for which I volunteer my expertise told me, … Continue reading

Posted in Assault survivors, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , |

CFJC and Kamloops, British Columbia taking a stand against violence.

My sincere appreciation to CFJC staff for the opportunity to discuss the second novel in the `J`Team Series. All sales proceeds are donated to women`s centres. The YWCA and the Kamloops Sexual Assault Counselling Centre were the recipients of readers`generosity in 2017. View the interview and support Excerpt from `30,000 Secrets` Prologue Len Thiessen was blasting east out of StoneHead, Wyoming trying to maintain the speed limit, but anxious to put time and distance between him and StoneHead Ranch where he had wrangled for the last five years, albeit more … Continue reading

Posted in "J" Team Series, Assault survivors, Domestic Abuse, Women's Fiction | Tagged , |

Take a stand against violence.

“What could I do? There wasn’t anything I could do? I couldn’t stand up against him!” Actually, you could, can and should have. I have had several battered women seek shelter in our home and to a man, their abuser backs off when they are confronted. I have been told it is because I am male. That might be true in some, but not all cases. It is the thought that their despicable behavior is now known to another and s/he will call the police. Here is an incident shared … Continue reading

Posted in Assault survivors, Domestic Abuse | Tagged , , , |

You turfed your abuser. Now what?

Healing will take time and patience. Assessing what went wrong in your abusive relationship can consume you. Don’t do it. Shit happens. We make mistakes and end up with the wrong person. Changing locations, getting a new job and moving on works. Not immediately, but it does according to many women who have, unfortunately, been in your shoes. A friend had this experience and did just that; moved, new job etc. but she found she was making the same mistakes, being drawn to losers…again. A female friend suggested she engage … Continue reading

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Posted in Assault survivors, Female role models, Moving on | Tagged , , , |

Women returning to abuser…no room at shelters.

“The National Center on Family Homelessness reports some 50 percent of homeless women cite domestic abuse as the reason they are living on the streets.” She was safe with her brother but chose to return so she wouldn’t lose graduation credits. “I had four credit hours left before finishing my bachelor’s degree,” Serenko says. She could go back to the same college as her abuser or transfer to another school and risk losing many of the credits she’d earned.” Why she went back. Read her story. She had two children … Continue reading

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Posted in Assault survivors, Domestic Abuse, Mental Health, Survivors | Tagged , , , |